Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 108905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
Oh, god, what would happen to Olivia?
My stomach roiled as we entered the room, which felt strangely empty despite the knowledge that Emma lay inside. The only light came from a wall-mounted lamp behind the head of the bed; I saw it through the thin fabric curtain that blocked the view from the door. The bed was made, and at the end of it, I saw the slight tent created by Emma’s feet. Even though I knew she was dead, even though I braced myself, when we stepped past that curtain, I expected her to be sitting up, glaring at us and telling us how ridiculous we were all being.
But she wasn’t.
“Oh, no,” Valerie wailed beside us, and she lurched for the chair at the bedside.
They’d laid Emma out flat on her back and dressed her in a hospital gown like the one she’d refused to wear after Olivia’s birth. A blanket was folded across her chest, and her arms lay at her side. Bruises mottled her face and arms, and one of her wrists seemed bent at an odd angle.
Neil made a hopeless noise and went to her, tentatively placing one hand on her head and stroking her hair back as though he were soothing her through a nightmare. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, his gaze fixed on the cut at her hairline. Her bottom lip was split and swollen. All I could think was that someone should get her some ice.
She was Emma, but she wasn’t. She couldn’t open her eyes and be Emma, anymore. I stared at her chest, willing it to move with breath, fantasizing that her eyes would open and she would be fine.
Valerie took Emma’s hand in hers and gently lifted it to her mouth to kiss her palm.
“My sweet girl,” Neil murmured against her hair, and he broke down again, weeping and trembling with his head on the pillow beside hers.
This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t in the plan. Emma and I had talked about going to the movies next week, just the two of us. We’d even joked about how easy it would be to get Neil to babysit.
Olivia. She came to mind, again and again. How would Olivia possibly understand where her mother and father had gone? And where would she go? With Michael’s parents? Would we ever see her after this? Should I even be thinking of such a thing, when Emma was laying there, present and gone, at the same time?
I wanted to hug her. I couldn’t. Emma had barely tolerated my hugs when she was alive, and she certainly wouldn’t want my pity hug now that she was dead. But I had to do something. I had to say something to her. I had to acknowledge her.
I stepped up beside Neil and put my arm around his shoulders, and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I love you,” I whispered to her.
I should have said it while she was alive.
* * * *
Neil and Valerie stayed with Emma for a long time. Laurence contacted the funeral home at Neil’s request. I knew he’d asked Laurence because he didn’t want to burden me, but my practical nature kicked in. There were things that had to be done. I didn’t know if Emma and Michael had a will or even if they had a lawyer, so I couldn’t help there, but I definitely could notify people.
I dialed Ian, first. Neil wouldn’t mind me taking the lead on this one. Ian answered the phone, sounding sleepy and sleepless all at once. “Everything’s okay, yeah?”
“No. Everything is…” My throat closed up. I couldn’t breathe, because if I breathed, I would be able to say the words.
“Ah, Christ,” Ian said softly.
I pressed my hand to my chest, certain it had sunken in to touch my spine. Because I suspected she would be with him, I asked, “Can I just talk to Penny, please?”
“Sure thing.” His mumbled, “Wake up, Doll,” was muffled by something. There was a rustling, and Penny answered.
“Hello?”
“Penny, um.” My lower lip trembled. I was so glad she couldn’t see me through the phone. “Neil’s daughter Emma? She…died.”
“Oh, no,” Penny said in a gentle hush. “Is there anything you need me to do?”
Now and then, I forget that Penny is an employee, not a friend. Now that she was dating Ian—I assumed they were back together, since they’d shown up at the hospital together—the line was further blurred. Of course she would assume I was calling as her boss. “No. There’s nothing I need. I just couldn’t tell Ian.”
“Sophie, I’m so sorry. I’ll clear your schedule all week, if you need me to,” she promised.
“I’ll think about that tomorrow,” I told her, and we said goodbye.
I called Mom, but the call went to voicemail like I thought it would. I told her it was important and to call me back. Holli and Deja, I could tell in the morning.