Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
A dagger cut right through my vital organs.
“Hey…it’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”
I didn’t know if she was still trapped in whatever nightmare made her cry or she still held a grudge toward me for buying her a dildo, but she curled up even tighter and buried her face in her pillow.
I had no idea what I should do.
Comfort her?
Leave her?
Am I making this worse or better?
I could ask, but I doubted she’d give me an honest answer. I just had to hope we had enough of a connection and trust that I wasn’t severely messing her up.
Forgive me if I’m doing this wrong…
Pushing her toward the window, leaving some space on this side of the bed, I brushed off the grass stuck to my bare feet, then swung myself into horizontal position behind her. The second I wound my arm around her middle and tugged her into me—spooning her like we had the other night—she went terribly quiet.
“It’s just me,” I whispered into her ear, pressing the softest kiss on her cheek. My mask absorbed the kiss, pissing me off that I couldn’t taste her skin. “Just me.”
It took a while.
It took an eternity.
But slowly, the stone in her bones thawed, and she unravelled her tiny ball just enough for me to scoot her a little closer and hug her a little tighter.
“X?” Her voice hitched with silent tears. “W-What are you doing here? I thought you were away for work.”
All kinds of lies came to mind: I was let off early. I came back quicker than I planned.
I couldn’t say any of them.
All I could say was the truth. “I missed you.”
She sniffed and shook her head. “But…how did you know I needed you? I haven’t been outside tonight. You don’t have cameras inside.” She groaned as fresh tears wobbled her voice. “Please tell me you didn’t lie and truly do have cameras inside.”
“I don’t.” I kissed her hairline. “I would never.”
“Then how?”
This question I did have to lie about. And I had no idea how to be convincing. “I came to check on you. Your cat was caterwauling. I figured you hadn’t locked him outside on purpose, so something might be wrong.” Nuzzling her neck, I breathed, “I used your key to get in. But I can go if you want. Now that I know you’re okay.”
Sucking in a breath, she stiffened again.
I waited a few seconds before whispering, “You’re not okay…are you?”
She turned to stone again before finally shaking her head. “No…no, I don’t think I am.”
Wrapping my arms even tighter around her, I didn’t care I might be bruising something. I needed her to feel the sincerity of my feelings. The truth of just how hard I’d fallen, even if she had no idea who I was. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She scoffed with a sob. “Not really.”
“That’s fine, you don’t have—”
“I tried the gift you bought me.”
It was my turn to freeze. I didn’t say a word, just in case I interrupted whatever she needed to say. Resting my chin on her head, I claimed one of her hands under the blanket and brought it to her stomach. Running my thumb over her knuckles, I just waited.
“I…I’ve never been good at that sort of thing.” Tears escaped and poured freely. “That’s not true. I used to be able to…you know. But when Milton found my vibrator and said it undermined him as a man, he forbade me from ever doing it again.”
My jaw clenched.
I had a few choice words to say about that bastard, but I held my tongue.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how I didn’t see the type of man he was before it was too late. I don’t know how I allowed him to chip me away, piece by piece. And I don’t know how to glue myself back together again.” Her tears cut her off.
Nuzzling behind her ear, I cursed my damn mask as I kissed her fluttering pulse point and waited.
“I thought I’d made a significant improvement today. I was happy for the first time in ever so long. Peng has done wonders for my mental health. Just having something to talk to, to be with…I wasn’t aware how much I needed that, but…” She shifted in my arms, not trying to get away but to slot even closer against me.
I made space for her.
Dropping my legs a little, I slid her back until my hips were firmly lodged against her ass.
I wasn’t hard—how could I be when the woman I wanted was in tears because another man had hurt her?—but I wasn’t shy about letting her feel me.
Feel our size difference. Our power imbalance.
And then I loosened my arms, telling her without words that she could escape if she wanted to. That I held her this fiercely because I wanted to protect her, not dominate her, and every single moment of this was her choice.