Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164838 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
She looked so worn out, so fragile.
It fucking killed me that I hadn’t messaged her back as X. That I’d left her alone and afraid after promising to always be there for her.
But if I’d come as X…
My chin dropped as pain I’d never felt before carved through me.
The more interactions I had with her as X, the deeper my lies went. She’d never forgive me for touching her in disguise. For taking advantage of her like so many other pricks had tried.
I should never have gone around that night for cake and orgasms.
I should never have touched her so intimately. At least then she wouldn’t feel so betrayed.
Swallowing the grief haunting my heart, I cleared my throat and focused on getting Sailor home. At least on Ember Drive, I could watch her through my window and ensure no one else tried to harm her.
“I’m—” I cleared my throat and stood straight.
She dropped her hand and took a careful step back, wariness once again appearing in her stare.
I ignored how much that gutted me. “I’m assuming you drove here?”
She frowned a little that I hadn’t answered her question of how I was. “I did.” Looking over her shoulder, she forced herself to stand taller. “It’s parked over there somewhere.”
I should offer to walk her to Rory’s ancient Honda Civic. Hell, I should offer to buy her an up-to-date safe vehicle that wasn’t as old as her, but all I could say was, “Come for a ride with me?”
Wait, what?
What the fuck are you doing?
She gasped, her eyes flaring wide. “What? Right now?” Glancing at the sky where the clouds pressed heavy and black, she wrinkled her nose. “It’s about to pour down.”
“I don’t care.”
You’ve lost it.
Well and truly lost it.
Stiffening, she searched my face.
I shoved my glasses up my nose and let her look. I doubted she’d see any evidence of X—despite me coming instead of him. Sure, I’d embraced violence and relished in beating the shit out of Chad Harris, but that was over and knowing how close I’d come to losing her?
Fuck, I’d never felt more like me—like the lonely doctor who’d convinced himself he didn’t need anyone, only to realise that was the biggest lie of all.
One of the streetlights illuminating a row of cars suddenly blacked out.
It reminded me of her TV randomly turning on the moment I kissed her as X.
Goosebumps darted down my spine. She rubbed her arms, suffering the same curse.
I chuckled under my breath, forcing myself to stay honest and talk even though it hurt. “Ever get the feeling we’re not just being haunted by our grandmother’s ghosts but that they’re still playing matchmaker?”
She snorted. “I thought it was just me.”
“Nope.” I smiled, fighting the insane urge to brush aside her hair that’d stuck to her bottom lip. “The windchimes in my conservatory started singing when I noticed the dinner you cooked for me.”
“That’s not that strange—”
“All the windows were closed. There wasn’t a breath of wind.”
“Oh. Yes, that’s a little odd.”
Finding courage from the desperate place inside me—the last-ditch attempt at making her like me instead of fear me—I stepped forward and cupped her cheek. I’d touched her far more intimately as X. I knew how she sounded and tasted and what she liked in bed, but being allowed to touch her like this as Zander? Being allowed to be this close without her flinching in panic? It blew anything else apart.
She sucked in a breath.
I froze, second-guessing everything but unable to let her go. “Are you okay, Sails?”
She flinched as I said the nickname I’d heard Lily use. With a soft sigh, she pressed her cheek deeper into my hold instead of away. “I am. Thanks to you.”
“You would’ve won if I hadn’t turned up. You did some serious damage.” I forced a chuckle. “I doubt he’ll be spawning kids anytime soon with the way he hobbled into the police car.”
“Is it wrong that I enjoyed hurting him? I never got to fight back with Milton. It almost felt cathartic to do it now.”
“Not at all.” I ran my thumb over her perfect cheekbone before dropping my hand. “I think you needed to let that out. To be—”
“Violent?”
“Not necessarily. Just…you needed to realise you are strong enough to protect yourself. You don’t need me or anyone else.”
“Does it make me weak if I admit that I do need someone? That I like needing someone? That I want someone to need me in return?”
Wincing against the answering agony inside me, I headed toward my bike. “I think that just makes you human.” Grabbing the spare helmet that I’d brought just in case, I went to her and gently placed the black protection over her sandy-blonde hair. “We’re not meant to be loners, Lori. Everyone needs someone.”
She froze.
Her eyes danced over my face.