Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
She smiled. “Very good, Devon, very good. Tell me about the girl? How’s that going?”
I shrugged. “The same. I haven’t spoken or seen her since…” I paused, thinking about it. “Maybe shy of six months now. I still feel awful for what I did to her, but a part of me knows that… or at least hopes that she knows that. I have to forgive myself and I struggle with that everyday, but it’s getting easier. I think,” I added. “My family and I are closer than ever. I have even cut back being at the club so much. My staff can handle it. I’m trying to let go of some control, ‘trying’ being the operative word, Doc.”
She laughed. “It will get easier, I promise. Control isn’t a bad thing, Devon. You just need to learn when to let it go sometimes. And love is brutal, especially for someone like you; like both of you. It’s very difficult to make a relationship work in general. Now add in two broken people, who didn’t love themselves, into the equation; it’s usually a recipe for disaster. How can you love someone, if you don’t love yourself?”
I nodded. “I understand. If I could go back, you know what? I can’t go back. All I can do is move forward the best I can.”
“You can’t change the past, Devon, the years of abuse you underwent will take a lot of healing. It’s why you have me.”
“Yeah… I know.”
“Good, because our time is up. Homework time.”
“Oh, how I love the homework,” I sarcastically said.
“I want you to start journaling, the good days, the bad days, the in between days. I want you to write them down, and try to do it at least once a day. Nighttime would work best, since you can reflect on your day.”
“Okay.”
“Here you go.” She handed me a notebook.
“Didn’t think I’d go get one, Doc?”
She laughed. “I like to eliminate any what ifs. I’ll see you next week.”
I shook her hand, and went to pick up Ethan from my mom’s.
“How was he?” I asked, kissing him on the head. He barely turned to acknowledge me, too captivated by Elmo on the screen.
“An angel, exactly like his father.”
“Hmm…” I replied, kissing her head.
“You look good, honey, I’m proud of you. I know how much it’s taking you to keep going back to therapy, but it’s working. I can see it in your eyes.”
I grinned. “Oh yeah? What do you see, Mom?”
“The calm to your storm,” she simply stated, making me smile, and think about her.
“Nice choice of words.”
“I think so, Mom always knows best.”
“That you do, huh?”
“Everything will be okay, Devon, you’ll see.”
And for the first time in a long time,
I believed her.
<>B<>
“Madam—”
“Brooke. Andrew, I’ve told you before my name is Brooke, not Madam,” I interrupted.
“I know, Mad… Brooke, it takes some getting used to.”
“Well get use to it. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m happy to hear that. I’ve been working with VIP since before you were born, and it’s never run the way you’re doing it. It’s never been better.”
“Thank you, I agree.” We laughed.
“I’m serious. You’re doing right by these VIP’s, and they know that. The fact that you’re only taking twenty-five percent cut, and giving them seventy-five percent. Well that speaks volumes.”
“I’ve been on the other side of this desk, they do more of the work than I do. I don’t need the money; trust me I have more than I know what to do with. I want my girls happy, and as long as they continue to be, then I’m doing my job.”
“It’s refreshing.”
We continued our meeting, then we exchanged goodbyes, and he left. I had been in charge of VIP for the last nine months. The transition was fairly easy, I already knew a lot about the organization. Though Andrew wasn’t exaggerating, I definitely changed a lot of things; I gave it the makeover it needed. It was refreshing for the VIPs’ as much as the clients.
I wanted the girls to have their own lives, outside of VIP. It was what they did, it wasn’t who they were, and I let them know that immediately. Some of them had boyfriends, and as long as they didn’t fuck with my business, then I didn’t care. I wanted them to feel like they were more than an escort; I never called them treasured jewels. They provided a service, and in exchange they got a family.
VIP.
They worked when they wanted to, some more than others. They came and went as they saw fit for their lives, not mine. They made their own rules, and I followed them. I didn’t pretend like Madam. I had been on the other side of that desk, and I sure as hell fixed everything that needed to change. No longer the outsider looking in.
I also got closer to my family, we had weekly gatherings at my parents’ house with my sisters, and their families. I accepted my parents’ marriage for what it was. They were happy, and at the end of the day that’s all that mattered. I was no one to judge anyone’s relationship, and if it worked for them, then it was their business. Not mine. I wished I had realized that decades ago.