Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 95256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Except my stomach was still in knots over how I’d left things with Ellie. Every time I thought about the things she’d said—she couldn’t trust me, what we’d done was a mistake, she felt nothing for me—I felt sick.
Ellie was special to me. She wasn’t just a friend. She was part of my history, close to my family, a piece of home. She was someone I respected and admired. Someone I had fun with—okay, often at her expense, but she could give as good as she got. I loved that about her. Had I taken her for granted?
On the drive back to Abelard, I tried to think of something I could do to convince her I wasn’t the evil villain she thought I was. I tried to think about what my dad would do, about what he’d done in the past when my mom was really mad at him. But he always seemed to be able to soften her up with just a look. A hand on her back. If I tried to touch Ellie, she’d probably kick me in the balls.
Flowers? Candy? A hedgehog?
Spying a grocery store, I pulled into the lot and ran inside. Their bouquets weren’t terribly impressive, but they were better than nothing. In line, I also grabbed a bag of M&M’s from the candy rack.
I arrived back at Abelard around three and instead of heading for the kitchen, I went down to the tasting room and peeked in. She stood behind the long counter pouring small glasses of wine for about eight people seated at the bar. Her blouse was pink today, and it reminded me of the color in her cheeks on our walk in the woods. Then she laughed, and the sound made my chest hurt. But when she looked up and saw me standing there, her smile faded. “Excuse me,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”
She came to the arched entrance where I stood, her back straight and her face impassive. Her hair was down, which surprised me. She looked beautiful, but I couldn’t help thinking she was even more stunning first thing in the morning, no makeup, her hair a mess, her skin warm and soft against mine.
“What do you need?” She kept her voice low. “I’m working.”
“Your hair looks pretty.”
“Thank you,” she said stiffly.
I held out the flowers and candy. “I brought you some roses and M&M’s.”
She eyeballed them like they might explode or squirt water in her face. “Why?”
“Because I’m sorry. Because I want to be friends again. Because they didn’t have hedgehogs at Meijer.”
“Friendship cannot be bought, Gianni.”
“I don’t want you to hate me.”
She sighed, shaking her head. “I told you—I don’t hate you.”
“Okay, well, I don’t want you to feel nothing for me.”
She tilted her head, her eyes penetrating mine. “What is it you’d like me to feel?”
“I don’t know. Something,” I said pathetically. “I don’t want you to walk away regretting everything.”
“Don’t you?”
“No! That was the most fun I’ve ever had with anyone. I didn’t want it to end—that’s why I lied.”
For a moment she said nothing, then she took a breath. “I had fun with you too, Gianni. I just don’t like being misled. I feel like you batted me around like a toy because you were bored.”
“That’s not it at all,” I insisted. “I just wanted you to myself a little longer, and I knew once we left that place, whatever we had would end. It was a dick move, and I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I told you the truth, I should have just left it alone.”
“I know why you told me the truth,” she said. Like it was obvious.
“You do?”
“Yes. To ruin things.”
“Why would I ruin things between us?”
“Because that’s what you do,” she reminded me. “Remember? You ruin things on purpose.”
“But that’s about relationships,” I said defensively. “That’s not about—about what we have.”
She raised her hands. “Look, I don’t want to argue. Let’s just leave what happened between us where it belongs, back in room thirteen at the Pineview Motel.”
Exhaling, I dropped my eyes to the floor and noticed she wore flats instead of heels. “How’s your ankle?”
“A little sore.”
“You shouldn’t stand all day. Can you sit behind the counter?”
“Maybe. But I should get back in there. Are we done?”
“I guess. I came here to make things better, but I’m only making them worse.” I searched her eyes. “Will you accept my apology?”
“Yes. On one condition.”
“Name it.”
“We go back to being co-workers, nothing more. And nothing like that ever happens again—you keep your hands to yourself.”
“Fine.”
“I’m not done. I want you to be professional around here. Stop giving me a hard time. No more coming in here just to fuck with me—this is my space. You stay out of it.”
“I can do that. Scout’s honor.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You were a Boy Scout?”