Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 104729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Now to see if the real bastard who killed my brother covered his tracks.
Once I hang the phone up, I walk into my room. Now that I’m alone, it hits me.
It’s the same feeling I have felt for years, but different.
Guilt.
An uncontrollable guilt.
For years I have harbored guilt in my soul over my brother’s death, a death that should have been mine. The only thing that kept me going was revenge.
Today changed that.
Today changed everything.
In my life, I have done many wrong things. I have done horrible things, but never have I become my father.
Never have I been that cruel, that sick and depraved.
My hands are stained with death, but until today, they were never tainted with a death that did not belong to me.
George.
I killed an innocent man.
He was never meant to die.
I reach for the decanter in the corner of my room, pulling the crystal stopper out and downing the contents.
His life was not mine to take.
50
Phoenix
It feels like an eternity ago that I was last on this yacht. Things have changed epically in only a matter of months, but here I am, back here, and I’m okay with that. The truth is, I’m more than okay. I’m finally happy again.
Today was a hard day for everyone on this boat, but in truth, for Alaric, it is so much more than that—the past four years of his life were a lie. Now, I can’t find him on this giant boat. I need to make sure he’s okay.
I start to wander through the decks, and then it dawns on me the one place I haven’t checked—his stateroom.
It’s funny. I was on this boat for two weeks before, and I still can’t find my way around it.
As I’m walking, I see Cristian. He must note my confusion because he points behind him.
“He’s that way. The door all the way at the end.” As I begin to walk, I feel the boat move.
The last time the boat left port, I was desperate to get off, but this time, I’m not worried about how I’m going to get off. It would be fine with me if I never had to again.
I just need Alaric.
As soon as I open the door to his stateroom, I see him. “Are you okay?” I ask as I approach. Alaric is sitting on the bed with his back toward me.
But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know he’s stressed out.
I can’t even imagine what he must be thinking.
“No. Not really,” he admits as he turns to face me.
My tongue feels dry in my mouth as I take in the expression on his face. There are not enough words in the dictionary for me to help him. The only words I can conjure are, “I’m sorry.”
He gives me a tight smile, silently thanking me for trying, but knowing it’s not enough. Nothing will be. Not until he finds out what happened all those years ago. That day still haunts him, and now, his wounds are open and gaping again. They are old scabs that are bleeding again.
“It’s not your fault,” he says, and although it’s true, it’s not my fault, I just want to help him.
“Talk to me.”
“I’m a monster. You were right. I don’t know how to do this.” He buries his head in his hands.
“Do what?”
“Forgive myself. I don’t know how you can even look at me.”
I stare at him and shake my head. “I don’t understand—”
“George,” he whispers, and it feels like someone punched me in the chest. I step closer, my legs touching his. “I thought”—he takes a deep inhale—“I thought it was justified.” He looks up at me, his blue eyes dull and hollow. “My father, he killed for sport. I vowed to never be like him.” His head drops down toward the ground, breaking our stare.
“You’re not.”
“Aren’t I?”
“Listen to me, Alaric.” I place my hand under his jaw and make him look up at me. “You are nothing like your father.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you feel guilt. Because you feel remorse. Because of this.” I place my hand on his heart. “What can I do to help?”
His hands wrap around my thigh. “Love me.”
I lean down and kiss the top of his head. “I already do. I didn’t tell you because I needed to know you would fight for us … I should never have doubted you, and for that, I’m sorry. I loved you then. I love you now, and I’ll love you forever.” I place his hand on my belly. “We both will.”
“Let me love you, then,” he says, and I look down at him to meet his gaze.
The color of his eyes reminds me of the ocean on a stormy day, dark and endless. “Okay …” I take a step back, his hands dropping to his sides, and he watches as I remove my shirt and then my pants. He stares at me without blinking, until I’m naked and then walking to the bed.