Total pages in book: 169
Estimated words: 156210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 781(@200wpm)___ 625(@250wpm)___ 521(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 156210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 781(@200wpm)___ 625(@250wpm)___ 521(@300wpm)
He swallows, but instead of backing out, he pulls the comforter higher, giving us more warmth. “How could your parents do that?” Luke asks, but then his expression sobers. “I guess some parents just don’t care.”
I don’t know what reaction I was expecting, but it wasn’t… this, and I find myself leaning closer, until his arms lock around me and my cheek rests on his arm in the warm cocoon of bedding. “It was the best they could have done for me, though not without benefit to the royal line,” I add with a scowl. “I was a spare prince, and they expected me to always watch over Kyranis. The eels on my skin? I got them killing assassins sent after my brother or shadow wielders he provoked into fights for sport and glory. I don’t know if he ever won a single battle without me helping him from the shadows,” I add, not even trying to hide my disgust and bitterness.
“My parents thought I’d be an asset and great support. They even named me Kyran, as if I were only a part of my brother. But my very existence made Kyranis lazy and spoiled. He never had to learn as much as a prince would have otherwise. I stepped in during his fencing lessons as he slept off his nights of revelry, and even after our father’s death, he left most decisions and council meetings to me. He never cared for the crown the way I did. Maybe because it was served to him on a silver platter. But he always made sure I understood my place. In his shadow.”
I didn’t even notice when Luke’s fingers tangled into my hair, but he’s now stroking it, soaking up every word I say. I’ve never felt so seen. Even to my father, I was only ever an extension of Kyranis, like a useful appendage which could nevertheless be cut off if necessary. Luke? He’s ready to see me for who I am, not who I am in relation to Kyranis.
“So you were never able to live… as you?” Luke asks with a growing frown.
I nod, hugging him a bit more tightly. While he hasn’t grown up with the same prejudice as elves, a part of me feared he might reject me, but Luke is still here, offering me his undivided attention.
“No. Most of the time, I was alone, hidden away in the shadowild and watching over him. I would only ever be out when he required something from me. Look through boring papers. Fight a dangerous beast. He never hesitated to put me in my place. One time, I felt drawn to another boy and made the mistake of telling him about it. He went after him and fucked him just to mock me while I watched. And he didn’t even like boys that much.”
My heart stops when I see tears glisten in Luke’s eyes. “That’s horrible. Kyran—” He stops himself from saying the ‘is’, and my heart beats faster. I feel like I’m emerging from a shell in front of him. “Kyran, you couldn’t have deserved that as a child. Are you saying they kept you there? In this shadowild place? What does it even look like?”
I sigh, and while I am still recovering from the despair encounter, sinking into the shadow realm is like second nature. This time, I’m taking my promised with me. To my sanctum. To the place where both of us can be utterly free. Instead of veiling us with my powers, I go in deep, to the very place where I’m most at home.
The gray walls surrounding the shadow palace vibrate and bubble up in protest, as if they’re not ready to accommodate another person, but I calm them down with ease. The bond we have makes it child’s play.
Luke gasps, looking to what used to be a window but is now an opening into the void.
“Is this safe?” he asks, his voice a pitch higher than usual as he clutches my shirt.
“As long as you’re with me,” I say and stroke his hair.
“Your… eyes,” Luke mutters and reaches for my cheek as if he were chasing off a fly. Only then do I remember how needy the shadows can be and voicelessly order them off me. My eyes tickle as they retreat with a rumble of annoyance. They’re not sentient, but I still feel loss, because it’s like chasing away a part of me. When I’m here on my own, I let the shadows envelop me and it’s as natural as breathing, but Luke is not ready to see the monster I become when that happens.
He takes another deep breath and takes in the space. It’s not merely a copy of a real-life bedroom, but my own iteration of it, which features a flamboyant canopy woven out of shadow tendrils.