Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 80660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80660 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“I think I’m rationalizing a lot of things. I think I’ve had the majority of this godawful year to reflect on the fact that those kids and that woman inside the house are the center of my universe. I have to put them first, even before my own needs.”
“Then it’s been a good year, but I think you’ve known this for a long time. I think what you’ve found is that your heart is bigger than you could have imagined.”
“Let’s hope not because I had to have this stupid physical, and they’re going to do this ultrasound of my…” It hit him why he was having weird dreams. “I’m anxious about the results. I put off going to the doctor, and this is my psyche telling me I shouldn’t worry. It’s age. That’s all. I’m supposed to have the test done tomorrow. Charlie’s freaked out. I don’t want to go because then we’ll all worry I’ll get infected with this fucking virus.”
“Yes, that seems like an excellent reason to have a dream about a dead man,” Sasha mused as he held the bottle up. “I am a man who tries to pay his debts, and sometimes that means…keeping track of people I owe and helping them out a bit. Now, let us drink. This is a special liquor. My people call it the blood of life.”
At least in his dreams he got some cool alcohol. “Scotch?”
“Something like it. Have a taste.” Sasha uncorked the bottle.
He took a long swig. The liquor was rich, like the darkest, smoothest chocolate. It warmed him and sent a feeling of peace through his body.
Everything would be all right. He wasn’t fucking it all up. His family would get through this and he would have the test to make his wife happy and…
He would be okay. Everything would be all right because he had them.
Sasha stood and recorked the bottle when Ian passed it back to him.
Ian followed suit. “You’re not drinking? That’s definitely not the Sasha I know.”
Sasha tucked the bottle in his coat again. “No. I don’t need to anymore. Go back to bed now, Ian. I have my own journey to make and my own lost boys and girl to take care of. I learned that from you. Sometimes the kindness we show affects the world in ways we could never have imagined. Your kindness might save two worlds one day.” He glanced toward the house. “I will miss her so.”
“She doesn’t call me dad.” There was a sorrow about Sasha he had to acknowledge.
Sasha turned and gave him the saddest smile. “She will. She will, and you will have earned it. I will be a distant star for her, something she looks up to but can never reach. You are the sun. We talk about the beauty of the stars and complain about the sun because it is right there. It is ordinary to us. But ordinary things are the ones that give us life, that we build ourselves around. We ignore such things because they’re always there. You and Charlotte will be her sun. Good-bye, Tag. And don’t worry about the test. I think you’ll find your heart is as strong as it ever was.”
Sasha seemed to fade into the darkness.
Ian moved through the house and got back into bed.
And then he woke up with a start.
What a weird dream.
Charlie yawned and cuddled close to him. “You okay?”
He rolled her over. That had been a weird dream, but he was awake now and kind of horny. He felt good. Damn good. He rubbed himself against her, loving every soft inch of her skin. “I’m excellent, and you are gorgeous. Come here, baby.”
He kissed his wife and let that crazy dream go.
* * * *
Month Eleven
“Ha.” Ian turned in his chair, aware there was a big grin on his face. And a magnificent sense of relief running through him. “I’ve got the heart of a twenty-year-old athlete.”
Charlie moved from her seat. She’d been next to him during the virtual appointment. He’d tried to convince her that no doctor tells him he needs a heart transplant during a telemedicine call. Even in the middle of a pandemic surge, they would have gone into an office for that news. She’d been so worried.
He’d been oddly calm about the whole thing. He was usually a pessimistic son of a bitch, but he’d known this would be all right.
“Well, you definitely have the libido to match.” She lowered her lips to his. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am. The doctor seemed so worried before.”
“And now he’s not.” He didn’t know why, but the last few weeks he’d felt fucking incredible. He’d had more energy than he’d had in years. The truth was he’d started worrying there really was something wrong with his heart, but it turned out he’d been right all along.