Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 66753 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66753 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
He catches my chin. “Why do I think that’s not about me?”
“It is about you.”
“It’s that fuckface guy you dated, right? I hated that bastard. Did he fuck around on you?”
“I don’t want to talk about this in a hallway in some bar, Tyler, but yes. I was apparently arm candy and a payday.”
“Well, like I said, he’s a fuckface and I will beat his ass if I see him now that I know. But I also understand a lot of what is going on now. You don’t want to be arm candy and a payday even if it’s not from your own bank account.”
Realization hits me. God, yes. That’s exactly what is going on. That’s exactly why the Debbie thing hit so hard. Exactly why the whole fake fiancée thing feels so wrong. “I don’t think that’s what you’re doing to me,” I say quickly. “But you’re right. The past is hard to make the past.”
His jaw flexes. “Did you love him?”
“It’s hard to be objective about that after you hate someone. But, no, with some time and space, I don’t believe I did. He works for NASCAR. He was older. I think it was all some weird need to connect with my father, which sounds creepy, but it’s not. Travis was like a connection between me and him, though ironically my father did not like him.”
“I wish you would have told me sooner.”
“How could I tell you what I didn’t even understand until right now? I mean, I’ve been hard on you. I know you can’t control a lot of this stuff happening. I know that’s hard on you, too. I mean, the Debbie thing hurt. I thought—”
“I’m not Travis. There has never been a woman I committed to and cheated on. I’m damn sure not going to start with you. Look, Bella, I’m not used to talking about my feelings or even having them at all. But you know what’s going on between us is more than sex, but in case you really don’t, I’m going to stop screwing this up tonight and use your own words. I’m emotionally involved, and I’m not even running from it. Whatever magic Allie worked on Dash, you’re doing it to me. If I’m honest, you’ve been doing it for five years.”
My lips part in shock that maybe shouldn’t be shock, but I’ve really worked myself up over all of this. “What? I mean, really?”
“Yes, really. I can’t believe you don’t know already. Why do you think I just wanted to beat Becker’s ass? And don’t say what I think you’re going to say. It’s not about the contract. It’s about us. Usually, I’d be thanking a guy like Becker for getting rid of the woman clinging to me. I wish you’d get at least a little clingier. Or just give me some semblance of a chance. I feel like I’ve been saying all of this from the beginning, but we’ve already established, I’m bad at this. Just to be sure I get it right now, I’m crazy about you, Bella. I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t to be without you.”
Emotions well in my chest. I love this man, I do, but there are so many things between us. My hand goes to his chest, this need to touch him uncontrollable. “Travis hurt me. You could destroy me. That’s how emotionally involved I am. And the contract just feels dirty. And fake.”
He covers my hand on his chest, and I can feel the heavy thrumming of his heart. “I really was trying to protect you. I just went about it the wrong way.”
“Yes,” I confirm adamantly. “Yes, you did. It’s almost like you don’t know me.”
“But I do know you. I knew you’d be worried about your job. I knew I had to do something. But the contract wasn’t the answer. No more contract. I don’t care about the damn contract. I care about you.”
A woman rounds the corner, and Tyler catches my hand. “Let’s go back to the table.”
I nod and as he guides me that direction, I’m aware of the singer on stage I talked to earlier watching us, but I can’t seem to care. Right now, I’m in a Tyler bubble, and it feels like a dark night, with millions of stars, and a moon that glows almost like sunshine. I don’t want to leave my bubble. Not just yet. Be damned the consequences tomorrow.
Chapter Forty
Bella
We settle back in our seats, our bodies angled toward one another’s, our legs touching and he says, “Tell me what happened with Becker.”
“Are you serious? I thought we were past Debbie and Becker?”
“I’m not stirring up trouble. I really want to hear the details—the professional details.”
“You want more. I get that. He hit on me, but he didn’t touch me. He promised to be professional and respect the line in the sand. I believe him. I think I can sign him before he leaves town. Of course, we left his show, so maybe not.”