Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 95187 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95187 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 476(@200wpm)___ 381(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Poseidon turns and looks at me, really looks at me. “Your people.”
“It’s the truth,” I whisper. I have lied, cheated, and stole and never felt a fraction of the guilt blooming inside me as I realize what I have to do. “You were right about the corruption in Aeaea. Hermes was too, in her way. I couldn’t do anything about it before, not with my father in the mix, but the blackmail I used against Circe’s generals was only one piece of my arsenal. If I go back, if I step into the position my father left with his death, I could actually change things for the people who need it the most. People like this crew.”
It hurts to say it. It hurts to even contemplate it. I’ve been selfish my entire damn life, and it’s fucked beyond measure that I’m going to develop a selfless streak right now, in the moment when I find an honorable man who loves me. An honorable man that I love, too.
Poseidon doesn’t yell. He doesn’t accuse me of using him. He just studies me for so long, it feels like he’s seeing me right down to my tarnished soul. “You have to do this.”
It’s not a question, but I answer it all the same. “I have to do this.” I drag in a harsh breath. “I won’t ask you to leave Olympus and your people. Not with the threat of Circe hanging over your head. But…” Fuck, this hurts. I want to stay. I want to spend whatever stolen moments we can find in his bed.
I want everything.
But I wouldn’t be worthy of his love if I ignored the deep wound in Aeaea that I have the potential to help heal. It’s what he would do in my position. I swallow past my increasingly tight throat. “Fuck it, I will ask you. Come with me. You never wanted to be Poseidon. You never wanted any of this. Fuck this city. Stay with me. Love me.”
He pulls me into his arms and kisses me with a desperation that conveys his answer even before he speaks. I cling to him, trying to communicate a feeling I don’t know how to put into words. I don’t know if I succeed.
When he finally breaks the kiss, he presses his forehead to mine. “I can’t.”
Even expecting his answer, it strikes right through all the bullshit. “I know,” I whisper.
“I love you.” He says it with a quiet certainty that shakes me right down to my core. “But I can’t leave my people with this threat hanging over them.”
“I know,” I repeat. And I do. He wouldn’t be the man I fell for if he was willing to shirk his responsibilities. If he was as selfish as I’ve been my entire life.
Poseidon holds me so tightly, I can barely breathe. “After.” He kisses my forehead, his whole body shaking. “After this is over, I’ll come for you.”
Hope flares, so strong that it almost takes me to my knees. I dare to lift my head, to meet his amber eyes. “What?”
“I love you.” He stares intently at me. “I can’t abandon the city and my people now, but this will be over one way or another soon. When it is, I’ll leave Olympus and come to you. I promise.”
It’s not something he can really promise, not beyond a shadow of a doubt. There are so many things that could get between where we are now and the future I want so desperately that I can almost feel it in my hands. Circe could win. Zeus could win and demand Poseidon’s presence for reconstruction efforts. Poseidon could die.
Or none of that could happen and time will unravel the spell we’ve cast on ourselves. He’ll come to his senses and realize what he feels for me is a confused mix of hormones and proximity.
But even as I think that, it can’t kill the hope inside me. This isn’t circumstantial. It’s real. I know it is. I just have to have faith. “When you come, I’ll be waiting. No matter how long it takes.”
“I won’t hold you to that.”
It’s such a Poseidon thing to say that I go onto my toes and kiss him. “You don’t have to. I’m holding myself to it. I love you, too, big guy. No one else compares.”
We stand like that for several long beats before he sighs and steps back. “I have to make a call.”
I wander around the bridge as he pulls out his phone. After the efficiency of the attack, it feels strange to be out of danger, at least temporarily. I’ll have to watch for knives in my back after I get back to Aeaea.
Fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this. That deep selfish part of me that I don’t think I’ll ever fully shed wants to walk back on my plans. I could stay here…and be a burden Poseidon has to constantly worry about protecting. Zeus probably still wants me dead, my helping them or no. He doesn’t seem like the type to allow loose ends to become a problem. There are other people under Poseidon’s command like Polyphemus who were hurt by my father’s plans and actions. Poseidon won’t be able to focus fully if he’s worried about me.