Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 94915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
“You know I did.” He leans forward and kisses me. “You want to visit her. I don’t want you to leave the mansion. This way, everyone wins.”
I lean into him, hugging tight.
“I’ll call her right now,” I say.
But he doesn’t let me go. “I have to go on a job tonight. I wanted to show you this before I went.”
“What kind of job?” I feel a sudden urge to hold onto him tighter.
“You know what kind, baby. Dusan put a bomb on my doorstep. He has to hurt for that.”
I chew my lip, not looking at his face, my cheek pressed to his chest. Before, I knew his life was dangerous, and some part of me was able to disassociate from the risks. Julien was Julien, and I couldn’t stop him from going out and shooting people if that’s what he wanted to do.
But our relationship changed.
The axis shifted, and suddenly, I don’t want him to put himself in danger, even though I know that’s a big part of his life.
“You can send someone else,” I say, hating myself for how meek I sound. “I mean, we’ve only marked off a few items from my list.”
“Are you trying to bribe me with sex?”
“Only if it’s working.”
He pulls me back so he can look at me. “The last thing I want to do is leave you right now,” he says and leans forward to kiss me softly. “But if I want to make sure you’re safe, these are the things I have to do.”
My heart shudders in my chest. “Right, I know, it’s totally fine. It’s not like you’re my real husband, right?”
I mean it as a joke, but his face grimaces slightly. “Right,” he says, voice thick, and he stands up, placing me back down on my feet. “You stay here and call Kim. Tell her we can have her moved tomorrow if she’s up for it.”
“Yeah, okay, I will.”
He walks to the door. “I’m getting changed and heading out. Don’t wait up for me.”
“Sure. I won’t.” I look down at the floor. I don’t know how to act in this situation. It’s not like our relationship is any different from what it was—except it’s also completely different too.
He hesitates, looking back, before he leaves me alone in the hospital room.
I’m overwhelmed from everything. From losing my virginity, from having a whole lot of sweaty, intense sex, from the prospect of Kim coming to stay here—and from these emotions running wild in my chest.
I don’t want Julien to go, because I don’t want to risk losing him.
And I don’t want to risk losing him—
I can’t complete the thought.
This is what I wanted to avoid. This is why I tried not to push the very malleable boundaries of our relationship any more than I already did. And yet here I am, crushed and flattened and trying to make sense of what comes next.
Chapter 28
Julien
“That’s his place.” Jean leans forward over the steering wheel and gestures with his chin toward a check-cashing place in the middle of a strip mall. The front’s gaudy, covered in signs and advertisements. “Word is he’s got an office in the back.”
I’m staring out the window. A big truck’s parked a few spaces away, and even though the front is tinted, I know who’s behind the wheel. “Is that what Ronan said?”
“Niall, actually. Ronan’s staying home.”
I grunt and shake my head. “Typical fucking coward.”
“From what I understand, it’s not really normal for the boss to go on jobs like this.” Jean gives me a meaningful look. “But for what it’s worth, I believe them.”
I grunt and let the issue drop. It’s a little after eleven and the check-cashing place officially closes in an hour. I settle in to wait, trying to keep my mind focused on the night ahead, but still drifting back to her.
Brianne’s mouth on mine. Her lips wrapped around the head of my cock. Her legs spread, her moans in my ear, her orgasm ringing through the air.
All I want in the whole world right now is to plunge myself inside of her.
It’s complicated and messy. I could tell she didn’t like it when I left earlier. But I couldn’t help myself, and I don’t regret fucking her, not even the slightest bit.
If anything, it made me want her even more.
She’s my wife. Not in some ceremonial sense, but literally, physically, all the ways that matter. When the bomb went off, all I could hear were her terrified screams, and those keep playing in my head, over and over, like a horror movie on a loop.
I can’t lose her. I just can’t. But I also won’t let myself squander the time I have with her, either.
“You’re quiet over there.” Jean’s leaning back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. “Does this have anything to do with you and your wife living back in the mansion?”