Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 128260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
A minute later, I heard a click and the room door opened. Grace came in with a smile, her blue eyes softening when she saw me. “Hi, handsome,” she said. “Miss me?”
I opened my mouth to say something full of sexual innuendo about exactly what I missed about her, but I snapped my mouth closed. She’d been right about that being a reflex when I felt a lack of control. And now, she’d see right through it. I loved that. I hated that. She’d stripped me of my defenses and now it was just me, standing here bare in a way I’d never been bare before.
Her face morphed into concern. “Carson? What’s wrong?” She came over to me and tilted my chin up with her finger and looked into my face, her eyes searching mine. I didn’t answer but wrapped my arms around her and lay my head on her belly, taking in long inhales of her soothing scent. She stilled as though she sensed my turmoil. She probably did.
After a couple seconds, she started running her hands through my hair gently, soothing me further. “Talk to me. What happened?” she asked quietly.
I took in a deep breath and pulled back. “Nothing, Grace. I just ran into some bitchy fans from the expo. Just a hazard of the job.”
When her eyes skittered away from mine, I knew that she didn’t know what to say—my job was probably something she really didn’t want to think about. Frankly, it was something I really didn’t want to think about either. She appreciated some of my personal attributes. But she didn’t appreciate my career.
This is Rick…Ryder. He’s in law school at, uh, Stanford.
She’d lie about it if we were in public, like she’d done with Parker. I got it. She had an image to uphold. And I was bad for that image. That depression again, cramping my stomach.
I stood. “I’m gonna take a quick shower, okay? Then we can get ready for dinner?”
She smiled a small confused smile but nodded. “Okay.” She took her hand and brushed a piece of hair off my forehead and then brushed her knuckle over my cheek. I leaned toward it and closed my eyes. I didn’t really need a shower, but it would give me the time to get into a better headspace and allow my emotions to settle.
It was my last night with Grace. I didn’t want anything to ruin it. But, we needed to talk. We needed to figure something out.
I wasn’t worthy, but I couldn’t let her go.
CHAPTER 12
Grace
I heard the shower turn on and sat down in the chair at the desk to check my phone and shoot Abby another quick text. I had been sending them intermittently since I’d told her about staying with Carson. She wanted to know that I was okay. If the positions had been reversed and she was spending the weekend with a stranger, I’d want her to check in frequently too.
Carson hadn’t described to me exactly what happened with his fans, but he looked disturbed. Upset. And truthfully, just hearing about that aspect of his life upset me too. I needed to shake it off because that wasn’t fair to him and I wanted to enjoy our last night together. I sat still, picking at a hangnail on my thumb. There was so much push and pull inside me, so many things I was trying to embrace, and several I was actively attempting to set aside. When I was with him, it was easier to quiet my mind, but once I was left to my own thoughts, they continually wandered to Carson and my feuding emotions. I’d only halfway focused on the presentation I’d attended, mostly distracted by the fact that we were going to be saying goodbye in the morning. My stomach twisted at the very thought.
Maybe we could keep in touch somehow? Was that completely stupid and unrealistic? We needed to discuss this. I was pretty sure he’d be open to the topic, but what if he wasn’t? What if he was still planning on the quick, permanent break we had arranged? He had called us friends. Did he want to remain friends? Maybe at some future time, when circumstances had changed, we could—
A knock sounded at the door and snapped me from my chaotic thoughts. The shower was still running so I walked to the door and pulled it open. A middle-aged, short, balding man in khakis and a sport coat was standing on the other side. He looked surprised to see me. “Carson here?” he asked.
“Oh, he is but he’s in the shower. Do you, uh, want to wait for him, or…”
He tapped on the doorframe, looking annoyed. “I’m his agent, Tim.” His gaze ran over me, his eyes filling with something that made me squirm. “Well, I can see why he shut off his phone and blew everything else off this weekend,” he finally said. “You’re quite the hot piece of ass, aren’t you?”