Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129110 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 516(@250wpm)___ 430(@300wpm)
So what happens when the thrill of coming here wears off? What happens when he's done playing normal?
The thoughts eat away at me, especially on nights like tonight. When things feel good, and right. When we're holding hands as we walk between houses as the sun hits that special shade of twilight. As he stops and shares his candy with a group of little kids whose bags broke. As we walk past couples on three different occasions dressed as him and Sabrina as their movie characters, and another two dressed as just Asher, guitar and all. He laughs it off. But for me it's just a reminder of what everyone sees. The part of him I'm not privy to.
We don't stay out late, so the house is still empty when we get back. We spend time answering the door for trick-or-treaters, handing out candy until we run out. Asher likes to put on a show for them. He bought a little science set up for the occasion. It doesn't take much convincing for him to get me to actually play his creepy assistant. It's hard not to laugh.
We shut the lights in the foyer so no one comes by, and he brings our buckets into the kitchen and unloads.
"This is the most insane haul." He pours the contents on the counter. "Aren't you going to see how you made out?"
I take my wig off and lean against the wall with my arms crossed. I haven't done this since I was a kid. I can't even remember the last time I came home for Halloween, let alone went out trick-or-treating, and I definitely haven't dressed up since college.
He smiles wide, and like the trap that insanely hot and adorable look is, he lures me in.
I spill the contents of my bag out and we start sorting and trading.
In this moment it's hard to take a step back and realize we're adults. Twenty-something year olds who should be past doing these sorts of things. Simple things that he missed out on. Easy things that make tonight one of the most fun nights I've ever had.
Last Halloween I sat on the couch, bored and in a mood, as Travis was on his computer.
I wonder if next year I'll look back on this with happiness or longing, sadness or a smile.
No matter what happens I can't imagine not looking at this time together with anything but nostalgia.
Yet I bite my lip with worry.
"Asher," I croak. "What happens when you're done?"
"I'll likely have the worst stomachache and my trainer will kill me for indulging."
"No," I roll my eyes. "I mean when you're done pretending here."
"What?"
"This bubble... it's going to pop... soon."
His eyebrows furrow. He knows what I mean and there's no doubting that I'm right.
"I know you like it here. And don't get me wrong, I love that you do. You make sure we see each other often. I said that was important to me and-"
"It's important to me too."
"I know," I sigh. "Its just... things are going to change. You said it yourself how your schedule is, you know, and..." I hesitate. God I'm such a chicken. "Well, it feels like you’re immersed in my life but not the other way around. I have no idea what it's like for you in LA because I'm not a part of that side of you."
His face snaps up.
Great now I've upset him.
"How can you even say that?"
"I never come to you."
"To LA?"
He makes a face and I nod.
"It's just a location."
"It doesn't feel that way. Everytime I mention it you brush it off. It feels like you can easily pick up one day and say goodbye and never come back. You'll go to your other life and I'll be left with nothing."
He leans back and lets out a deep sigh.
I bite my lip, swallowing hard.
"I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that. Elle, you're such a part of my everyday. Even when I'm not here. I never thought twice about you coming to me because I didn't think it mattered. Is it that big of a deal? Are you not happy?"
"No! I am!" I jump. "I don't mean to come off like I'm complaining. I know you're always making time. It just feels like we're hiding."
"Well, yeah," he agrees with a frown. "I want to keep you safe."
"So I am your secret."
"Is that... I thought..." he shakes his head.
"I guess I thought once you tore up that contract it didn't matter."
"It matters," he narrows his stare. "Once it's out that we're together paparazzi will be swarming this town. Camping out on your parents front lawn. I can't do that to you, or them."
"I hadn't thought about that."
"This is why I didn't want to date. I knew you wouldn't be okay with being a secret, and you deserve better than being one."