Total pages in book: 26
Estimated words: 24912 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 125(@200wpm)___ 100(@250wpm)___ 83(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 24912 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 125(@200wpm)___ 100(@250wpm)___ 83(@300wpm)
And how she reacts…
Well, that’s just another thing I can’t predict.
“I love you too, Taylor.” She smiles, using my false name.
Ryder, I want to tell her. Call me by my real name, my love.
But I can’t. For now it’s Taylor. I’ll continue to live this false life, this lie. And I’ll continue to hope that somehow, Layla and I will be together when all is said and done. Because I know I can’t live without her. Not anymore.
7
LAYLA
I lie in bed looking up at the tiny crack in the paint that’s formed over the last few weeks. It started small. Just a black dot that I thought might be a spot of mold. But since then, it’s grown larger, expanding out as though it’s trying to make it all the way to the wall.
Will a little paint fix it? Or is it a crack in the actual ceiling?
Geez, I need to calm down. Of course it’s just a small crack, and here I am about to have a nervous breakdown as I debate in my mind whether or not the entire apartment building is going to collapse around me.
I know what’s wrong.
Something’s eating at me. Gnawing at me like a splinter in my thumb that’s not yet ready to come out. I’ve been doing my best to ignore it, but my heart won’t let me.
I didn’t even want to confront Taylor last night for the second time. I was so nervous. I’d already asked him once if there was something bothering him, and he told me no. I asked him a second time, and he gave me the same answer. But for some reason, I still don’t believe him.
Is it something in his eyes? Something in the way he’s been holding me lately? Tighter, closer, like he thinks I’m going to just float away if he loosens his grip. Or like he expects to wake up one morning and find me suddenly gone from our bed.
Even the way he’s been making love to me has changed. He’s become much more sensual over the last couple of weeks. Not that I mind, of course. I love the passion. It’s just…different. I don’t know how to explain it. That’s what’s killing me. I know something is going on, and what’s worse is it feels as if Taylor is deliberately hiding it from me.
I’d hoped he would wake up hard next to me this morning and take me like he does so often, but he didn’t. He woke up before I did and went to take a shower alone. “I didn’t want to wake you up,” he called out when I yelled to him from bed.
He said he had to get in to work early today because of a big concrete pour. I pressed him and asked him if I could stop by after I got out of work, but he told me not to bother. That he’d just come back to the apartment when he was finished.
He always has an answer for everything.
He’s always right there when I need him, as if he’s reading my mind.
It’s wonderful, of course. In fact, it was one of the things that drew me to him when we first met. But it’s grown disconcerting as our relationship has grown. It’s like he knows everything about me–my wants, my needs, my favorite foods and activities–and I know absolutely nothing about him.
I’ve never even had a discussion with him about his family.
He’s never introduced me to a single one of his friends. And I don’t know where he actually works or where this construction site is.
It’s not as if our relationship hasn’t been great. It’s been amazing. We can’t keep our hands off each other; we eat together, we sleep together. And up until recently, I felt like I was making progress with my trust issues.
But Taylor’s behavior lately feels like a setback. I’ve retreated back into my head again. I’m worrying about betrayal, lies, and the foundation of what we’ve built together. And those worries have my heart aching when it’s normally glowing in a state of bliss.
Taylor is sharp, quick-witted, loving, and he makes me feel safe.
He’s strong and tall and carries an aura of confidence and protection with him.
But there’s also something mysterious that’s lurking underneath all those amazing qualities. Something that’s hiding, keeping itself unseen. And no matter what he says to me about our relationship being fine, I can’t help but feel like something terrible is about to happen.
I’m breathing heavily, and my heart is racing when I hear Taylor turn off the water and step out of the shower. At the sound of his heavy steps, I’m instantly thinking about his naked body wrapped in nothing but a towel. The familiar tingle swells between my legs as it always does when I’m around him. And when he walks into the bedroom and I get a view of his thick chest and washboard abs, the sensation only grows.