Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66642 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66642 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 333(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 222(@300wpm)
Silas’ lips twitched in amusement. “I’m not used to you sounding so discouraged. She only met you a week ago.”
“She’s not attracted to me. I kissed her tonight, and she acted as if she would rather be doing her laundry.”
“Ow, and you looked so nice tonight.”
Jody turned his head to stare at his brother. “You can be a real dick when you want to be.”
Silas’ chuckle eased the hurt knot in his chest. “Jody, you were overconfident, and Sophie handed your ego back on a plate. I would have been disappointed in her if she had dropped to your feet and let you walk all over her like you have other women.”
“I do not walk on women.”
“Not literally, but you have become very spoiled. You’re used to having it easy. Sophie isn’t easy.”
“No, she isn’t. Sophie is nothing like I expected her to be.”
“Don’t lie to me, and stop lying to yourself.”
“How am I lying to myself?”
Silas sighed, looking toward the sky. “Jody, we all loved Dad and Leah.”
Grief welled inside of him.
“We all, in our own way, blame ourselves. Me for leaving to get the helmets, Ginny because it was her turn to ride the ATV, and you blame yourself for pestering Dad not to wait until I got back. Jody, you were just a kid, and kids pester their parents. It’s the parents’ job not to give in.”
“Dad was a big kid himself. I had more sense than him,” he said gruffly. “I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Ginny had to lay that blame to rest, and you have to, too. I’m not saying don’t grieve them, but you can’t keep self-sabotaging your life to pay them back for them losing theirs.”
“I’m not,” he protested.
“Aren’t you? You were aware of your soul mate, yet you live fast and loose with other women, knowing it was inevitable your soul mate would find out. You losing your soul mate won’t pay penance for Dad and Leah dying. Neither of them would want that for you. They both only want you happy.”
Jody clenched his jaw to hold back the tears burning his eyes. “When”—his voice cracked—“will I stop missing them?”
“I can’t give you an answer I don’t know myself. I miss them just as much. There hasn’t been a day that has gone by when I don’t see Leah’s face. I carried her on my hip when I had to get chores done, changed her diapers, tucked her in bed, taught her to read …” Silas broke off. “Dad warned me that his death was near … he didn’t warn me that he would be taking Leah with him. He knew how much it was going to hurt me … all of us.
“When I asked if there was a way to prevent his death, he told me he was ready to go. He had been without his soul mate too long, and she wasn’t in this life.
“In our birthdate charts, Leah was the only one who didn’t have a soul mate. I asked Dad about it, and he told me that she had just been born without one. I don’t know if he had suspicions she would die so young. What he did say was this wasn’t the only life we would have on earth. He said, when he died, he wasn’t passing away; he was moving on to another life, to not be sad for him, but be happy for him.”
“I don’t know what true happiness is anymore.”
“And you won’t until you’re willing to put the past behind you. Sophie is a smart woman. Could it be she senses you’re not ready to give your heart to any woman? Her father taught her from an early age that men are deceitful. Show her the real Jody, that you’re steadfast and loyal, and she won’t be able to stop herself from falling in love with you.”
Jody listened to Silas as he stared up at the sky. “If I show her the real me, she’ll run.”
Silas stood up. “Or she could surprise you. I think you’re underestimating how strong Sophie is.”
Jody heard Silas walk away, his mind going back to the day of the accident. He covered his face with his hands, trying to block out the image of Leah’s happy face as she climbed onto the back of the ATV behind their dad.
Getting up, he started walking. Was Silas right? Was he self-sabotaging because he felt he didn’t deserve to be happy? When he looked up, he found himself at the small family cemetery where Colemans had been buried for generations. Walking to the two graves that lay side by side, he stopped.
“I’m so sorry. I just wish I could talk to you.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for and you know why you can’t talk to them. Their souls moved on already.”
Startled, Jody turned to the side to see Fynn walking toward him.