Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Pain flashes across her face. “I…” She swallows. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete loser, but it needs to be said, so…” She pulls in a breath, her gaze dropping to the Astroturf between us as she adds, “Brain Chill won’t give me a good reference. If I hadn’t quit when I did, they would have fired me. They weren’t happy with my design and even less happy with my control of my team. I proved that two of the guys I was in charge of managing were actively sabotaging my code, but it didn’t seem to matter. The higher-ups saw that as my fault for failing to inspire loyalty and confidence.” She sighs. “Basically, I left feeling like I was made of suck. And even though, deep down, I know that’s not true, I’m not the confident coder I used to be. I’m damaged goods. As soon as your bosses at Paradisus start digging deeper into my time at Brain Chill, they’re going to see that, and I don’t want you to get in trouble for bringing them a dud.”
“You are not a dud. Not even close.” Anger at the self-serving little shits who turned her first dream job into a nightmare makes my voice shake as I add, “Fuck those guys. No one at Paradisus is going to care what they have to say. And you won’t have to work with anyone who doesn’t fully support you ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”
Her forehead furrows. “Why?”
I smile. “Is that your new favorite question?”
“Yes,” she says. “I’m embracing my inner toddler. Besides, all the best people stay curious. The day you stop asking ‘why,’ is the day society has succeeded in crushing your soul. And I really want to know why. Why are you willing to stick your neck out for me like this? You don’t even know me anymore, Sam. I could be an irresponsible jerk or a drunk or one of those people who microwave tuna fish at the office.”
“Well, like I said, you can work from home as long as you like, and I’m in a different division. I won’t have to smell what you’re cooking anyway, so…”
“I’m serious,” she insists. “Why? It’s been six years. Six years without so much as a text or an email or a like on a social media post. But one look at my résumé, and you decided to jump on a plane and fly all the way across the ocean to offer me a job? Doesn’t that seem a little strange to you?”
“It’s your birthday. And like I said, it felt like a sign.” I curl my hands into fists on my knees. “I’ve missed you, Jess. A lot.”
“I’m easy to find,” she says in a more vulnerable voice than I’ve heard from her so far. “You could have reached out any time. Or, I don’t know, just not disappeared in the first place. Did I do something to piss you off? If I did, I’m sorry. I’ve racked my brain so many times, trying to think of what I could have done to make you ghost me like that, but I—”
“No, it wasn’t you,” I cut in, hating that I’ve fucked this up so badly. “It was me. It’s always been me. High school was so shitty, Jess. My school was a lot more cliquey and classist than yours. I didn’t have the group of friends you had, and I never seemed to fit in, even with the other nerds. It was…painful. After graduation, I didn’t want to be that awkward kid anymore. I wanted a fresh start, and I needed a clean break from everything to make that happen.”
“Even one of your best friends?”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I say, wishing I could tell her that I’m crazy about her, that I’ve been in love with her since sophomore year of high school and will crawl on my belly over a blanket of nails to earn her forgiveness if that’s what it takes, but I know Jess. She avoids feelings, especially complicated ones, like the plague.
If I confess any of my secrets, she’ll never take the job, and she has to take it. I need her talent, and she needs a safe workplace where she’ll be able to shine and succeed.
That’s why I decided not to tell her that I’m the man behind the curtain at Paradisus. I don’t want her to feel like she’s beholden or subservient to me in any way. I want her to boldly go where she’s meant to go without any worries about keeping the big boss, who also happens to be her childhood friend, happy.
“Maybe I should have called instead?” I ask after a beat. “Or waited to show up on your doorstep until tomorrow? After the party was over?”