Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
“O…kay,” I say with an uncertain nod. “Sounds a little…medieval, but as a person who refuses to let herself pee until she reaches her work goals, I really have no room to talk.”
“Jessica,” Mom says, her jaw dropping as she gasps. “Don’t do that! It’s so bad for your body. You’ll give yourself an infection if you keep that up. Or permanently damage your bladder. You had a weak bladder to begin with. Remember how you always had to pee on the train on the way to see Santa in New York when you were little? Even though we always made sure to pee before we left the house?”
“That’s because Santa gave me anxiety, Mom, and anxiety makes me pee,” I say, slowly backing toward the door. “But you’re right. I’m not going to punish myself like that anymore. If I’m too tired for positive reinforcement to work, then I’ll take a nap or a walk or something instead.”
Mom grunts. “You promise?”
“Yes, I promise. And how about I get you prune juice instead of hot sauce? It’s still gross enough to be a deterrent to smoking but won’t wreck your stomach lining.”
“Sounds good, baby,” she says, at the same time Dad asks, “Do you need the van, Bug?”
“No, thanks, I can walk,” I say. “Or take a car service if I need to. I have my purse.”
“All right but call if you need me to pick you up on the way home,” Dad says. “We can get burritos and save all Mommy’s good cooking for when she comes home tomorrow.”
“And I’ll only eat the vegetables and rice,” she says with a smile.
“Sounds good.” I pause in the doorway, overwhelmed with a wave of love for them. They might be older than my friends’ parents and stressed out and stuck in their ways, but they love me more than anything in the world.
Mom proved that today. For the first time in my life, I know I’m more important than her pride or her worry or her need for control. Our relationship, and the love between us, comes before any of that.
But deep down…I think I’ve always known that. My fear had me convinced that standing up to my mother would destroy my family, but it didn’t. Standing up for myself may just have fixed my family and put us on the path to an even stronger, more authentic relationship. My higher self, the part of me that understands that real love isn’t that easy to destroy, knew that all along.
And now it knows what to do about Sam, too, exactly what to do.
If only I’m brave enough to listen…
“Wish me luck, guys,” I whisper. “I love you.”
“And we love you, but why do you need luck?” Mom asks. “What are you up to now?”
“Dad can fill you in, but don’t worry,” I say, wiggling my fingers at my sweet little parents. “I’ve got this. I think. And if not, there’s always burritos with Dad to look forward to.”
I head out into the hall, crossing my fingers at my sides as I hurry toward the elevator, already knowing that no burrito—not even a super-stuffed, jalapeno-and-fried-onion-ring Big Paco special with extra cheese—will be able to cheer me up if I ruin this thing with Sam. But I also know that won’t stop me.
I’m on the truth train and I’m not getting off until I reach the last stop, the one that hopefully ends with Sam and I making out in my childhood bedroom.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Sam
I pace the platform at the station, dividing my attention between the sun brushing the treetops at the edge of the parking lot and the empty tracks stretching away in both directions.
Everything but my wallet and cell is still at Jess’s parents’ house, but it doesn’t matter. I have plenty of clothes at my hotel in the city. In just a couple hours, I’ll be back there, ensconced in the lap of luxury with a glass of hundred-dollar bourbon to help numb the pain of looking into Jess’s eyes and seeing…nothing.
She didn’t even look upset, just…flabbergasted, like I was a zoo animal who’d just wandered up to the bars to ask if she’d like to talk about her car’s extended warranty.
“Fucking idiot,” I curse as I drag a clawed hand through my hair and will the 7:35 train to hurry the fuck up already.
I need to get out of this town and away from my latest mistake. I never should have come back here. I should have stayed in London, safely behind the curtain, and let the game design team woo Jess into our world. I could have watched her success from afar, been proud I was able to help the woman I love in some small way and spared us both that mortifying conversation in the waiting room.
After the chemistry between us and that last, soul-melting kiss on the train, I’d thought there was a good chance Jess felt something for me, too. But I was wrong. And now, I’ve probably ruined everything. I doubt Jess will feel comfortable taking that job interview now, let alone making good on our camp bargain or even being my friend again.