Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 51530 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51530 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
She rolls her eyes. “She’s my sister. I could draw a stick figure and she’d think it was good. But yeah, she knows I wanted to be a photographer. Trust me, she’s bothered by it. She thinks I gave it all up for her, and I’ve tried to explain to her that it’s not her fault. I wouldn’t have wanted to travel and see the world. I wanted to be here for her.”
I recall what she told me in Vegas about her nightmares and the way she would cling to Lily. “You had to.”
She plays it off like it’s not a big deal. “I wanted to. And I think that’s why she’s on me now. She wants me to go for all the things she thought I gave up on.”
I walk over to her and sit next to her. “What about you? She worked through it in therapy, and she had you to help her. Who helped you?”
She lies back, putting her arms under her head as she stares at the ceiling. “I went to therapy a few times. I’m scared of falling in love. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, and I have a hard time putting myself in a position to go through that again. And there’s parts of me that think I’ll never be good enough.”
I put one hand on each side of her head and lean over her. “You’re more than enough, Lily.”
She brings her hands from under her head and puts them on my chest. She plays with the patch of hair there, running her fingers through it. “You think I’m enough?”
Fuck, how could she not know? “Yeah, baby, enough doesn’t even cut it. You’re everything.”
At this moment, I know I can give her everything she wants. I can encourage her to reach for her dreams. I can help her with all of it. I can easily get a professional camera, I can set her up with the biggest photographer in New York, I can get her space in a gallery show. I can do all of it with just a few phone calls. But if I do all that and help her reach her dreams, will I end up losing her in the process?
I kiss her then, sealing my mouth over hers. It’s either that or I tell her that I love her and I can’t lose her—neither of which I think she wants to hear.
Lilian
I’m addicted to Ford Blaze.
What we had in Vegas was fun and earth-shattering, but now what’s happening between us is soul-shattering. He has me questioning everything I thought I wanted, every dream I’ve had, and what my future looks like.
So much so, I’ve been putting off my call to Carrie.
I stare at the phone and know that I need to call her.
My body is still tingling from my time with Ford earlier. He had to leave to go pick up Ollie from Austin’s house, and now here I sit, staring at my phone, knowing I need to make the call. I dial Carrie’s number and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey, sis!” she answers.
“Hey Carrie Bear. How’s it going?”
She bursts out laughing. “Carrie Bear? Really? I’m not five anymore.”
I lie back on the couch. “I know, but you’ll always be my little Carrie Bear.”
“How was your Vegas trip?” she asks at the same time I ask her, “How was your honeymoon?”
“You go first! I want to hear about the honeymoon.”
I close my eyes and listen to her. Not only what she’s saying but the pure happiness in her voice. There was a time that I wondered if she’d ever fully recover from our loss. And by no means has she forgotten it, but at least it’s bearable now.
“I’m so happy for you, Carrie.” I try to hide the emotion in my voice. “I can’t wait to see the wedding pictures. You were the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
Before she can ask me about Vegas—because at this point, I’m not ready to talk about it, not yet—I ask, “Has Phillip heard anything about his promotion?”
She blows out a breath. “He’s putting off answering them. More money is tempting, but we just don’t know. I’m supposed to start the teaching job at the elementary school next semester, but if it comes down to it, I can teach anywhere. I just don’t know, sis. I don’t want to hold him back because I know this can be huge for him, but neither one of us really want to leave Whiskey Run. Our family, our friends are all here. I can’t leave you, Lily. I can’t.”
The happiness from her voice earlier is gone now, and I wish I hadn’t brought it up. “Don’t worry, sis. We’ll figure it out. You and Philip need to make a decision on what’s best for you. Don’t think about anyone or anything else.”