Series: Stacey Espino
Total pages in book: 25
Estimated words: 23564 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 118(@200wpm)___ 94(@250wpm)___ 79(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 23564 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 118(@200wpm)___ 94(@250wpm)___ 79(@300wpm)
He unbuttoned his shirt, then pulled it off, leaning back in the same position.
It felt so good to run her hands over his warm, firm skin. He had an amazing body. She imagined he must work out downstairs every chance he had.
“This is life, right?”
“Exactly,” she said.
“Beautiful and smart.”
She continued to massage his neck, shoulders, and arms. Clara just wanted to help, to ease his tension. For him to refuse the chance to play with her sexually said a lot about his state of mind.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Sorry?”
“Have you eaten?”
“I had lunch, not dinner.” Clara didn’t want a full stomach because she had no idea what he’d planned to do with her one day to the next.
He shifted on the couch, taking one of her hands, motioning her to join him. She walked around and sat next to Grayson.
“I’d take you out to dinner, but tonight my head’s not in the game. How about I order in something?”
Clara smiled. “Okay, that sounds good.”
“We can watch a movie, call the night a write-off,” he said.
She shook her head. “I don’t think it’s a write-off. It’s perfect. I just want to be with you.”
He looked at her, really looked at her, as if nothing in the world mattered except what she’d just said. He cupped her face, using his thumb to caress her cheek. “Fuck, I don’t deserve you,” he said. “I’ve been an asshole all these years. Wasted so much time.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Do you know why I acted the way I did?”
“You hated me?”
He scoffed. “The opposite. You were all I could ever think about and that scared me. You’re half my age and my daughter’s friend. Pushing you away was the only decent thing I could think of to do.”
“I don’t care if you’re older, Grayson.”
“You should.”
“I just…”
He tilted her chin up when she looked down. She didn’t want to say too much and push him away again.
“What is it? Tell me.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, so many emotions coming to the surface. Watching her mother suffer, the abandonment issues from her dad’s sudden death, struggling with school and work, and the years Grayson pushed her away. “I just want you to love me.”
She leaned away from him, certain she’d crossed a line. This arrangement was about buying sex. What if he called off the deal now? She’d never be able to bless her mother the way she’d imagined.
He was so quiet, not reacting, not saying a word. She knew he was thinking hard. His jaw twitched. He probably thought she was another fickle girl falling for the first guy to give her attention. Or did he think she wanted the love of a father? This was so messed up.
Finally, she said, “Should I leave?”
He almost whispered, deep and rough, “You’re staying.” He ran the backs of his fingers over her shoulder. “Run upstairs and get changed into something comfortable. I’ll order the food.”
She still wasn’t sure how he felt or where things would go from here, but she gladly took the opportunity to leave the room and get her head screwed on straight.
****
Clara just complicated everything. She wasn’t just a girl looking for easy money. She was smart, sweet, sensitive—and in love with him. How could he steal her innocence and let her go? How could he keep her when they were decades apart in age?
Grayson had never been in love. He’d married April’s mother when she got pregnant, but she’d always had a wandering eye. Her constant flirting with other men made him question his worth. When she’d left him with the baby, not ready to settle down and be a mother, he vowed never to commit to a woman again.
But Clara was nothing like April’s mother. She was caring, not to mention young and innocent. He could mold her, teach her. But what happened when she started noticing the fact he was old enough to be her father? Would she regret giving him a chance? Start cheating with boys her age?
He didn’t want to force her to do anything, but she was also everything he’d always wanted. For Clara, he’d try again. He’d put his heart on the line for love.
The food arrived and they set all the takeout containers on the coffee table. Grayson knew women his age, especially in his circles, would frown on this. Clara loved everything about it. She was so fucking refreshing, and he didn’t want to lose her.
“It’s like a picnic,” she said, adding items to her plate.
“It is.” All he could do was stare at her in amazement. He’d been blinded all these years. If only he’d known she’d reciprocate, maybe things would have been different now.
“We used to have picnics in the park, the one near City Hall, every summer. Those were the days when my mother still smiled—when he was alive. Now she’s just a body. She exists and it kills me inside.”