Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 114192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114192 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
The soap opera would have ended with me in tears and a broken heart. I knew it, sitting there and glancing between the two men. I can take my karma, and I will. Just not in front of everyone else. Please, whoever is up there, listening to this prayer, please let me go through it without an audience this time. Please. I’ll take what’s coming to me, but I just don’t want everyone to see my heartbreak again.
The console clicks as I open it, rummaging through the clutter of old sunglasses and sunblock for a napkin. I just need something to dab at the corner of my eyes in the rearview mirror.
I’m so caught up with just breathing and gathering my thoughts that I don’t hear the heavy thud of a car door beyond my pathetic sniffle.
It’s not until he calls my name that I’m aware there’s anyone outside my car door.
“Mags, please.” My chest tightens, painfully so. “Mags.” The way he says my name cuts through me, like he’s sad for me, drawing it out and before I can respond, my door is opened.
“I need a minute, Robert.” It’s all I can get out, balling up the napkin, and struggling with my seat belt. He was halfway crouched down to meet me at eye level but my words bring him to a halt. He takes a single step back even though the door is still open and his hand is on top of it.
“Did he hurt you?”
“What?” With the keys still in the ignition, the car scolds me, but yells nearly as loudly as my inner thoughts do to confess to Robert, right now. “Hurt me?” My brow scrunches as I rip the keys out of the ignition and grab my purse off the passenger seat.
Robert takes another half step back so I can get the heck out of the hot car. Deep breaths. “No, he didn’t hurt me.”
I can barely look Robert in the eyes. When I do, there’s confusion, but mostly hurt. He knows darn well I was on a date. He’s never seen me with another man. Not once. The next deep breath is a torturous one as I shut the door to my car and make my way up the stairs. With every click of my heels there’s a clack of his shoes following me across the pavement.
It’s only when I get to my door, the key in the lock ready to turn, that Robert speaks again, “I didn’t know you were interested in seeing someone.”
I’m frozen where I am, my back to him and my eyes closed. I have to lean forward and rest my forehead against the door when he adds, “In fact, you said the opposite.”
It’s not a lie. But it’s not like he was asking me out when I told him that and it was years ago. He was seeing someone. That’s why the conversation came up.
He continues, “You said you didn’t want anyone.”
I said it to make him feel better. I remember the conversation all too well. One more lie to add to my pile. Maybe I’ve always been a liar and I just didn’t see it until now.
“At the time I didn’t,” I say, adding another lie to the pile. What’s one more, at this point? I wanted him. I wanted Robert to choose me to take to whatever event it was. Not some governor’s niece. But between myself and the woman he told me about … there was no chance he would take me. I knew what we were and I came to terms with it.
With his tall frame standing only feet from me, it’s easy to see how his posture deflates. It’s everything about him that tells me his heart is shredded.
Why does it hurt as much as it does? It shouldn’t. But looking at Robert, it kills me to tell him anything I’m feeling inside. It hasn’t felt like this in years. It’s always been easy. Both of us finding comfort in one another.
“I don’t know what I want,” I say, finally speaking some truth.
His voice is drenched with wretched emotion as he says, “I’ve been with you from the very beginning, Mags.”
The way he says my name is pleading.
“I want to take you out.”
“Rob—” He cuts me off as I step forward, feeling the pull of two incompatible wants in my life.
“Just a date,” he assures me, his hands raised in defeat.
“You sure you want to be seen with me?” The joke I’ve made for years makes my voice tight and my eyes prick with tears.
Robert is softer, sweeter when he takes my hands in his. This man and Brody are the only two men I’ve ever been with and I’ve only let myself fall in love with one. Fair enough, though, only one has broken my heart.