Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
And it killed me that I would never be able to trust them again.
Mom gave me one of her looks as she placed her hand on her chest and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, give it, Mother! It’s not going to work anymore. I know you’re lying. You’ve been lying to me for years!” I could feel my cheeks burning with anger as I hissed, “How could you! You are my mother! I trusted you.”
“Tallie.”
“No! I want to know,” I pushed. “How could you do this? How could you let me think he was dead?”
“You don’t understand.” Tears filled her eyes as she toyed with the hem of her sweater. “It wasn’t my decision.”
“Oh, here you go,” I snapped. “You’re going to put it all on Dad.”
“I was trying to protect you!” she shot back, her voice raising defensively.
“Protect me?” I scoffed. “Protect me from what!”
“Your father and I worked very hard for you and your brother to have a good life, and we didn’t want anything to jeopardize that.”
“And what about what I wanted? Did that not matter at all?”
“Of course it mattered, but I was…”
“You let me grieve for years and for no reason!” My voice trembled as I told her, “You stole my life, Mom. You stole his life from me. And for what? Because he wasn’t good enough for your perfect little plan?”
Her silence was deafening. Her lips pressed together like she couldn’t find the words, or maybe she just didn’t want to admit the truth. I stepped back, the weight of betrayal nearly crushing me. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
Before she could say another word, I turned on my heel and walked out, the door slamming behind me. For the first time in my life, I didn’t care if she was hurting. I was heartbroken, and I needed some time to clear my thoughts.
I went downstairs and went to the bar. I had a glass of wine and just breathed for a bit. I tried to clear my head, but I was too distraught. I felt like my entire world had been turned upside down. I didn’t know who I could trust or if I’d ever be able to trust again.
I sat there for over an hour just trying to process it all, but it was futile. This was too much for anyone to accept, especially from their own mother. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew I couldn’t stay in that bar all night.
I paid the bartender, then headed back upstairs. When I walked into the room, Mom was sitting on the sofa, and it was evident from her blurred mascara that she’d been crying. As soon as she spotted me, she stood and rushed over to me. “I’m so sorry, Tallie. You have to forgive me.”
“I can’t, Mom. It’s too much too soon.”
“Honey, please. I don’t know what I will do if I lose you. I just don’t think I could take it.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you lied to me.”
“Please don’t do this.”
“I will stay until we get through this mess with the police and Dad’s funeral, but after that, I’m going to need some time. And lots of it.”
“I understand.”
“You hurt me, Mom. You hurt me more than you will ever know.”
Without saying anything more, I grabbed my bags and headed for my bedroom. Being careful not to wake Ford, I slipped into our room and quietly closed the door behind me. I dropped the bags on the floor, and as I stepped over to the bed, I found Ford sprawled across the mattress with the covers balled up next to him.
His little chest rose and fell with the easy rhythm of sleep, and it gave me a sense of peace to stand there watching him. He looked so peaceful, so innocent. Knowing his peace wouldn’t last made my heart ache.
I had to tell him about Holt, and when I did, it would open the door to a million questions. Some I wasn’t sure how I would answer. There were just too many unknowns.
It had only been a couple of hours since I’d seen him, and I was still in a state of disbelief. He looked the same but older and more rugged. It was clear that life had taken its toll on him, just like it had me. And yet, the second our eyes met, I felt that old, familiar connection that had always been there between us. In so many ways, it was like no time had passed, but then, reality set in.
We were no longer the same naïve kids who fell madly in love. I’d missed eight years of his life. I had no idea what life he had led or who he had become, and that left me with an overwhelming wave of regret.