Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 70014 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70014 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
I couldn’t decide if Kenzie needed less dirty books in his life or a reward for putting so many interesting thoughts in Stefan’s head.
“Yes, that’s one way that a Dom might make a sub uncomfortable, you’re right. In this case, I was thinking about our conversation, but I should’ve made that clearer.” We didn’t want miscommunications about something like that. “Making you emotionally uncomfortable is the last thing I want. I know what we’re discussing is new to you, but I want to show you that you can trust me.”
Licking his lips, Stefan nibbled on a cucumber almost completely covered in ranch. “You don’t scare me and what…what I think you want doesn’t scare me. I just…I’m not sure I could make you happy.”
Submission was vibrating off of him but I wasn’t sure he realized that with all the other things that had to be running through his mind. “Can I ask you what you mean by that or is it too soon?”
We hadn’t even gone on a date yet, so it might be way too soon for anything like the clarifying questions I wanted to ask.
Nibbling continued as he processed something, but once he started making another stack with his crackers, cheese, and what looked like ham, he nodded. “Yes, Sir. You can ask but…but I remember that I have safewords and that extends to conversations, situations in general, or scenes.”
Well, at least the dirty books they were reading got that part right.
“Yes, safewords aren’t just for scenes and I’m glad you understand that. It makes me feel more confident.” With that out of the way and me fairly certain he’d actually safeword if he needed to, I pushed into the conversation again. “When you talked about not being sure you could make me happy, was that about the age play side of things? I don’t want to put words in your mouth and assume what you mean.”
I could guess but that might end badly because as much as I knew about his background and education, I didn’t know him on a personal basis.
Nibbling continued for a few more seconds before he reached for a bottle of water on his desk. That gave him another few seconds to drag out the silence but he didn’t put it off too long. “I…I’ve never thought of myself as a sub, just shy and reserved, and I’d never considered anything like age play until Kenzie started asking for books and talking about himself.”
Not seeing himself that way wasn’t a surprise to me—a lot of people ignored the signs and random thoughts that might lead to discovering that side of themselves.
“But Kenzie was very open about what he wanted and what makes him happy.” Something he was thinking made Stefan let out a breath and sit straighter. “It was all very surprising to me, but I liked how he just accepts who he is. I just don’t know if it would make me happy in real life or if it’s only a book fantasy thing, and I don’t know if I could be that…that confident in myself.”
Oh, we needed to fix that line of thinking.
“First, you need to realize that no one on Earth is as confident in themselves as Kenzie is. He’s…let’s call it an outlier.” That got a smile from Stefan and I could see some of the worries fading. “We can not live our life aiming for that level of happiness or self-acceptance. It would be exhausting.”
A giggle escaped Stefan before he could catch it. “He’s very funny.”
That was one word for Kenzie.
“We just need to take baby steps—no pun intended—and see what makes you happy and if we find that we have things in common, we keep going.” The inadvertent pun got a grin out of him, but he nodded and seemed to understand where I was coming from. “We don’t have to rush.”
I certainly wasn’t going anywhere.
“Does…does that mean dating and exploring things or just…” He looked sheepish as he tried again. “I want to understand exactly what you would like so I’m not assuming anything.”
I definitely approved of that. And since he seemed to want it spelled out, I didn’t talk in euphemisms or give him a vague answer out of worry. “I would like to date you and explore that part of a relationship to see if we’re compatible in everyday life. I would also like to explore domination and submission with you, as well as age play.”
Before he could ask me to clarify anything else, I kept going. “I see submission and age play almost like two different things even though that’s not exactly accurate. Two sides of the same coin, maybe. Either way, I want to help you figure out what parts of age play appeal to you, and ultimately, I’d like to see if there are parts of more generalized submission that you enjoy.”