Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 39424 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 197(@200wpm)___ 158(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39424 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 197(@200wpm)___ 158(@250wpm)___ 131(@300wpm)
He sucks in a breath and goes silent. Damn, I know this isn’t good.
“What happened?”
He whispers, “A bomb.”
I clench my hands together. It’s either that or I’m going to hold on to him and cry until I can’t cry anymore. “I’m going to need more information than that.”
He opens his mouth to talk and then closes it. He does the same thing again, and I reach for him without even thinking about it. I thread our fingers together and squeeze his hand. “Talk to me, Elias.”
He pulls our hands to his chest and holds them there. “A bomb. It was ugly, and to this day, I can remember everything about that day. Everything. I try to forget it and push it out of my mind… my thoughts, but every day it’s there.” He sucks in a breath and lets it out. “There was a bomb. Randall died. Davis hurt his leg, Kanan’s arm, Jason’s eyes…”
When his voice trails off, I scoot closer to him. “And you?”
He looks over at me and lifts his chin. “I was hit with shrapnel. It could have been a lot worse, but I have scars, Chloe. Scars that cover most of my body… my face… everywhere.”
My voice is so thick with emotion. “But you’re alive.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You always look on the bright side. Yeah, I’m alive to scare women and small children.”
“Elias,” I admonish. “You’re not scary.”
CHAPTER 10
ELIAS
I want to believe her, I really do. But I’m not sure I can.
With her hand in mine, I stroke my thumb across hers. “Chloe, I look at myself in the mirror every morning. I know what I see.” I huff out a breath. “I came to tell you that I’m sorry. I should have at least reached out to you before now. I should have explained things to you instead of just leaving you hanging. I was so fucked up… but that’s not an excuse. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Chloe sadly shakes her head and squeezes my hand. “You’re forgiven.”
My mouth drops in shock. “Just like that… you forgive me?”
She smiles softly at me and nods her head. “Yes, I was hurt, but I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through the last five years. So yeah, I forgive you.”
I blow out a breath and search her face. She’s so fuckin’ beautiful. “I wish things were different, Chloe. I wish I was different.”
She scrunches her nose up. “What do you mean?”
I can’t look at her, so I look at the big oak tree in front of us. “I’m in a big, black hole, Chloe, and I can’t get myself out of it. I’m not bringing you down with me.” I suck in a breath, and my chest starts to ache knowing what I’m about to say. “I’m leaving.”
Even as I say the words, I regret them. I don’t want to leave, but I know it’s what’s best.
“Leaving?” she exclaims. “You’re just going to leave?”
She pulls her hand from mine, and I release her even if it’s the last thing I want to do. “Yeah. It’s for the best.” I blow out a breath. “I have a mission.”
She jerks back as if I’ve physically hit her. “You’re still doing those?”
I nod. “Yeah. Most of the time it’s in the cyber world now, but I have to be close in case things go awry.”
She’s still looking at me in shock. “Besides the scars, I’m fine, Chloe. I’m able to work, and people need me.”
She opens and closes her mouth as she shakes her head.
The silence is deafening, and I ask her, “What is it? Say what you want to say.”
She bites her lip. “Nothing. It’s nothing, Elias.”
I would give anything for things to be different, but it’s wishful thinking on my part. “I wish you’d yell at me, cuss me or something. Get it off your chest because we both know I deserve it.”
She wraps her arms around her legs. “I’m not going to yell at you.”
“I wish you would.”
She shakes her head and laughs. “For five years, I’ve thought about having your arms around me, your mouth on me and more. You said you’ve been through hell, and I believe you. Why would I yell at you?”
Her words make me feel even more guilty. There’s no part of me that thought I could come back and be with her. I wanted it more than anything, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I knew she deserved more. But I didn’t handle any of it the right way. “Because I deserve it.”
She shakes her head. “You really don’t.”
She’s looking at the oak tree now, and I stand up and stretch my legs. I move to stand in front of her and realize I’m being ridiculous. I want her eyes on me, and it’s crazy because for the last two years, I haven’t wanted anyone to look at me.