Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 52319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 209(@250wpm)___ 174(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 209(@250wpm)___ 174(@300wpm)
I know because I've been there, done that. I live with the fucking scars. You can't unbreak what's broken. All you can do is glue it back together and hope for the best. I've been held together with glue and rubber bands for years, trying to keep the broken shards from slipping free.
"Did you know they were there for Bellamy?" she asks me, a quiver in her voice as she steps inside. "I need to know that much, Brantley. Because I've tried to see a future without you all day and it didn't work. So, I at least deserve to know what kind of man I love."
"You tried to see a future without me?"
She shrugs, glancing away from me. And fuck if that doesn't hurt like hell. But…I can't say I blame her either. Not after what she heard today.
"I didn't know they were there for him," I say quietly. "I didn't know who they were or what they wanted. I swear to you, little bird, I didn't fucking know."
She swallows hard, nodding. "But you blame yourself anyway, don't you?"
"I…"
"Please don't lie to me."
"Yeah, I blame myself anyway," I rasp. "I saw two men sneaking into the garage, and I just drove off because I didn't want to fucking deal. An hour later, my father was dead, and your sister saw it happen. It's hard not to blame myself when I could have stopped it."
"Would you have stopped it had you known?"
"Had I known your sister would get caught in the middle? Absolutely."
"What if she hadn't been there?" Isla asks, her eyes locked on my face, missing nothing. "If you'd known what they were there to do and you knew no one else would get hurt, would you have stopped it?"
"I don't know." I swallow hard. "I feel guilty every fucking day because I don't feel guilty, Isla, not over what happened to him. Not after everything. The only thing I felt when they told me he was dead was relief. If that makes me a terrible fucking person, so be it. For years, I'd have rather been terrible and free than spent another goddamn day working beside him, pretending we were a happy family when the only decent memories I had with him were fake—they were just for show."
"That doesn't make you terrible," she whispers, her bottom lip quivering. "It makes you human, Brantley. I was glad when Marion went away. I didn't understand prison or any of that—I'm not even sure my dad told us where she went because we were so young. But she wasn't there anymore, and I was happy about that. You don't owe grace to people who hurt you." She pauses, taking a breath. "But you do owe honesty to the people you love. That one isn't negotiable."
"I know that. And I intended to tell you everything. I just… Fuck," I whisper, my voice shaking. "I needed to fix it first, little bird. I needed to make sure she'd be safe and prove to you and Mac that I could be worthy of you. I guess I needed to prove that shit to me too."
Her face falls. "I kind of figured that's what you were doing. But you're already worthy of me, Brantley. You've always been worthy. When are you going to realize that?"
"Baby, you're afraid to even tell your dad about me," I remind her. "And I don't blame you for that because I get it. I wouldn't want to tell a man like him about a motherfucker like me, either. So, I needed to do something to make sure he knew that I've got your best interests at heart, and that I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure that you have whatever you need. You needed Bella safe, so I made sure she was."
"That's not why I didn't want to tell him about you, Brantley. I was scared he'd send me to Texas with her and I'd never see you again," she says. And then her brows furrow. "Hold on. What do you mean, you made sure she was safe? What, exactly, did you do?"
"That's why I texted you today. I wanted to tell you what I've been doing," I murmur. "I'm paying off my father's drug debt in exchange for Bella's safety. They won't come after her. They won't target your family or her friends or anyone else she cares about. She's safe."
"Brantley…you…" Isla gapes at me. "That's how you planned to fix it! You can't just pay a ridiculous amount of money to drug dealers to protect her!"
"It's worth it, little bird." I tug her into my arms, my eyes drifting close as my skin hums. Christ, I missed that today. I missed her today. When she isn't with me, I crave the feel of her skin against mine. I crave her. If she's an addiction, she's the sweetest one there is. "She never should have been in the middle in the first place. My father put her there when he hired her. He put her there again when he failed to tell her about his addiction and the people he owed. He didn't give her a choice because he wasn't up front with her about the risks. And I put her there when I drove away from that fucking parking garage. I can't undo what's already done. But I can ensure she isn't hurt further. And I can make sure you are, too."