Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
“One night, things got bad at home. My parents had been drinking, as usual, but they started fighting. Bad. I locked my bedroom door at one point because things were getting crazy. Things started busting around the house and before I knew it, my dad was banging on my door.
“I finally open it, afraid he was going to bust it down,” she says weakly, “and he barges in. He was yelling, asking me something but I couldn’t understand him through the slur. My mom was behind him, yelling her own slew of things, and I was trying to make sense of it. I just couldn’t, Crew. I didn’t know what they were even talking about. I tried to appease them, to just say yes or no, depending . . .” She swallows hard. Her eyes refuse to meet mine. “He grabbed me across the throat and slammed me against a wall—”
“He did fucking what?” I roar, leaping out of my chair. “How in the fuck did I not know this? That’s not what you guys said.”
“You didn’t answer your phone,” she whispers, her face to the floor. “And then, I’m sure Gage gave you an easier explanation so you wouldn’t go crazy.”
I groan, knowing I should never have left her with them. I wish I could punch myself, tear myself apart for what I’ve done. I’ve regretted it a million times, second-guessed my decision a million times, but it was worse than I ever fucking dreamed.
“Were you okay?”
“Yeah. Mostly. He screamed at me and eventually got sidetracked by my mother yelling and I slipped out the door. I ran down to the gas station. I didn’t even have shoes on.” She laughs sadly. “The lady at the counter let me use the phone . . . I didn’t even know who to call.”
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I choke out. Fury and guilt choke me, drown me in their depths.
“I finally called Gage. I didn’t know anyone else that would come.”
“Jules—”
“Don’t worry about it, Crew. That was a long time ago.”
“Damn it, Jules. Damn it! I . . .” I run my hands across my face, scrubbing at them for some feeling. I feel so many things I’m practically numb. “Ah!”
“Everything worked out. Gage came and took me home with him.” She smiles to herself. “I had to beg him, literally beg him, not to kill my father.”
“He should’ve,” I bite out. “He should’ve sliced his fucking throat.”
Julia leans back on the sofa, her arms across her stomach. “That’s how things started with Gage and me anyway. I was afraid to go home, so I stayed with him and your ma for a while.”
I don’t give a shit about that right now. I’m glad Gage went and got her. God knows what might’ve happened if he didn’t. I’m just pissed he didn’t kill her cocksucker father.
“I never should’ve left you. I should’ve fought for you,” I say, my voice so low I don’t even know if she heard me.
“You couldn’t. You weren’t in a good place, Crew. Things happen for a reason.”
“Fuck that. I could’ve and I should’ve. I’ve never fought for anything good, anything honorable. I should’ve done that for you.”
I watch her watching me and think about the weird way things have happened. She and I are together now, but not together, all because of the baby she had with my brother.
Fucking life.
“I want you to know something,” I say, hoping this is the right thing to do. “I came home that day because I missed you.”
A small gasp escapes her throat as she struggles to sit up.
“I walked in and saw the two of you sitting there, your head lying in his lap while you watched TV.” I shake my head, the pit of acid that comes with the image hitting me yet again. “I stood there for a couple of minutes and watched you both. I was ready to grab Gage by the back of the head and beat the fuck out of him. Then I heard you giggle.”
I fix my gaze against a wall, remembering the way it sounded like it just happened. So carefree, so happy, so safe. Three things I knew I’d probably never be able to give her. I was irresponsible, unpredictable . . . even to myself. She didn’t deserve me. What could I even offer her but one fuckup after another?
“You and Gage deserved each other. You’re the best people I’ve ever known.”
I see her irises blur with tears and I smile. “Don’t cry.”
“Crew . . .” She wipes her face with her fingertips. “I had no idea you came home because of me. I thought you’d forgotten about me. Gage and I . . . we never expected anything to happen. It just . . . did.”
“It should’ve. You two being together was the world working right for once. I’d fucked up your lives time and time again. Gage did us both a favor by saving you from me.”