Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
“I don’t envy you. At all. But I respect you. I can’t imagine what would be going on if she didn’t have you.”
“Yeah, well, I just have a few days ’til the fight. I’ve intentionally not told her much about it. I just want them untainted by it all. They have so much going on and this fighting world is so dirty. When I go home, it’s pure. It may not be happy because Ever’s sick, but it’s my world. And I just want them to be . . .” I take a deep breath. “Look, Will. I don’t know how to say this . . . but if things don’t go the way we think they will and something happens to me—”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Let me finish.”
“No. I know what you’re going to say.” He’s pissed. His usual goofy smile is gone, his features completely changed. “And I’m not going to stand here and even entertain the fucking thought. You know this game. It’s more mental than anything. So push that shit out of your head, Crew.”
“I know, but what I want to say is that if something goes wrong, I need you to—”
“That goes without saying,” he states. “Just shut the fuck up and go home and tell those girls you live with that I said hi.”
He jumps in his car and pulls out before I can say another word.
CREW
I set my bag down and turn the corner. My girls are sitting on the couch, watching cartoons. Ever looks a little pale, but not as pale as Jules.
I walk across the room and kiss Ever on the cheek. I turn to Julia.
Fuck it.
I kiss her, too.
She might get pissed but I don’t care. I only have a few days left before I fight and I’m not wasting any more time. I’ve been thinking of the things I’d say to my ma or to Gage if I had another day with them. How I’d tell Ma that she was right. That I was sorry for causing her so much worry. I’d thank her for doing her best with me and apologize for making her life so much more complicated with my antics. I’d thank Gage for always having my back, even when everyone else turned against me. I’d thank him for picking up the pieces of my life and just kind of holding them until I could find them again. I’d tell him that I respect him more than any other person I’ve ever met.
I’m not wasting any more time with Jules. She can be angry. She can second-guess it. But what can she say? I love her and I’m going to show her that, show Everleigh that, for as long as I have left.
“Crew.” She pulls back, eyes wide.
“What?” I’m not sorry and I won’t be.
We have a standoff, eyeing each other, until it’s broken by a burst of tiny giggles. We both turn to see Ever, her hand over her mouth, her eyes shining.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, grinning.
“I wondered why you never kissed her,” she said, her giggles growing louder. “She’s so pretty. Boys always kiss pretty girls but you never kissed Mommy.”
“Listen here,” I say, picking her up. I sit in her spot and place her on my lap. I wrap one arm around Jules and pull her into my side. She looks up to me, a touch of color back to her cheeks. “Boys do kiss pretty girls. And your mommy and you are the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. But here’s the thing—no boy better ever put his lips on you. Hear me?”
“I don’t want to kiss a boy!” She giggles.
“Damn right,” I say, pulling her head to my chest. “You two are my girls. You aren’t allowed to have any other boys’ lips touching you or I’ll kill them.”
We sit quietly. Jules grabs the remote and turns the television off. I’ve got one of my girls beside me and one on my lap. Eventually their breathing evens out and I know they’ve both fallen asleep.
If I could stop time, I’d do it now.
FORTY-NINE
JULIA
Hospitals are such a double-edged sword.
On one hand, they’re a place of hope, a respite from a disease-filled world. A place where people work together, tirelessly, to heal your loved ones. On the other, they’re a grim reminder that sickness exists. That with sickness comes pain, sadness, and frustration.
Ever has been taken out for testing and I’m alone in her room. Her monkey lies on the sofa next to me and I pick it up and press it against my chest. It smells like her, like strawberry bubblegum and that subtle note that’s just Ever. It reminds me of when she was a baby, of Gage carrying her around on his shoulders, of going for snow cones on warm days, like today.