Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“Yeah, just give me a second.” I threw the rest of the dirty towels in the hamper, then made my way down the hall to Nathan’s room. “Hey, what do you need?”
“I wanted to ask you about something.”
I could tell by his expression that something was weighing on him. It wasn’t the first time. It seemed to happen a lot when the kids had been to see their father, so I walked over and sat down at the foot of his bed. “What’s on your mind?”
"I was thinking about you and Dad," Nathan began, his voice a hesitant whisper, "It’s just been weird, you know.”
“No, I don’t know. What do you mean?”
“I just thought you guys would work things out, and you haven’t.”
“We tried, Nathan. You know we tried.”
“Do you ever think you’d be willing to try again?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” My throat felt tight as I told him, “It’s been over a year, Nathan.”
“Dad’s really sorry about the stuff he did and wants to make things right.”
“Okay, where is all this coming from?”
“Nowhere. I’ve just been thinking about things.” I could tell he wasn’t being completely honest with me when he added, “I know he messed up, but people make mistakes, right? Maybe if he tries really, really hard, things could go back to like they used to be."
The air seemed to thicken as I wrestled with my response. My first impulse was to tell him that his father cheated and lied about it over and over again and that there was no way we could go back to the way things used to be. But I took a deep breath and forced myself to remember that Nathan was just a young boy who loved his father.
“Honey, things will never go back to the way they used to be. Your father and I aren’t the same people we were back then. I’ve grown stronger and more independent, and he’s with Crissy now, and he really seems happy with her.”
“But he’s not.” Nathan’s eyes filled with worry as he explained, “He talks about you all the time. He misses you and wants you back.”
“Okay, and what about what I want?” It pained me to see that solemn look on my son’s face, but I simply couldn’t go down this road with him. “I know this might be hard for you to understand, but I’ve finally gotten over what happened between your father and me. And it took a lot for me to be able to do that. There were days when I wasn’t sure it was even possible, but I’ve finally managed to put it behind me, and I have no intention of ever going back.”
“Okay. I get it.”
“Does this have anything to do with Ronin?” He’d been by several times since the night we’d gone bowling, and I thought things were going well. Now, I wasn’t so sure. “Are you worried about him or...”
“He’s alright.” Nathan shrugged. “Seems nice enough. He’s just different is all.”
“I can’t disagree with you there, but sometimes, different can be good.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” I could hear the sincerity in his voice as he said, “I want you to be happy, Momma. I really do.”
I was just about to reach over and hug him when Samantha stuck her head in the room and fussed, “Did you really do it?”
“No.”
“You did, too. I can’t believe you’d actually...”
“Shut up, ass-face.”
“Nathan, watch your mouth!” I scolded. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Nothing.” He leaned over and gave Samantha a threatening look. “The nosy turd-head is just running her mouth like she always does.”
“Nuh-ugh.” Samantha crossed her arms and sassed, “I heard what Dad was saying to you.”
“Shut up, Sam.”
“Okay, enough.” I held up my hand and gave them both a stern look. “No more name-calling. Just tell me what’s going on.”
“I told you. It’s nothing,” Nathan lied.
“Okay.” I looked over to Samantha and asked, “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“Dad was going on and on about Nathan asking you to give him another chance.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he said he really missed you and missed us not being around all the time. He also said Nathan was the reason you found out about Crissy.” Samantha’s expression softened as she glanced over at her brother and said, “And he was counting on Nathan to make things right.”
“Oh, he didn’t.” Samantha nodded. “You both know that’s not true, right?”
“But it is true,” Nathan muttered. “If I hadn’t gotten sick that night, then you would’ve never found out about... you know.”
His father was laid up with Crissy in some stupid motel while I was sitting frantically in the ER with Nathan. He was dehydrated from a terrible case of the flu, and even after calling everyone I knew, I couldn’t find Chad. It wasn’t until he showed up hours later that I figured out where he’d been.