Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“I did, but I’d like to also hear it from you in person so I can ask questions.”
I guess that makes sense. “I’m here for my brothers,” I admit.
“Not for you?”
“For them,” I reply. I don’t really know what I expect to get out of this for myself, if anything. Sometimes I worry I’m a lost cause like Dad.
“Did they ask you to come?”
“Not specifically. My youngest brother, East, just got out of an inpatient program. When he went in a few months ago, our middle brother, Morgan, agreed to start seeing a therapist as well. We have a lot of family trauma. They’re working through it and to build a relationship with each other and me. I don’t want to do the wrong thing. I don’t want to do something that can hurt them or hold them back. I just want to be the kind of brother they deserve. It’s not something I’ve ever been good at.”
I have a feeling, that to her, this must sound all wrong, so I appreciate that she says, “Okay. We can start there.”
It’s the only reason I make myself stay.
*
That felt like the longest hour of my life. I’d let it all out, though, telling Talia about Dad, the way he was with us, that he’d only ever loved Mom, and how she tried to make up for him. About East and Ella, how she was East’s whole world and how we practically lost him too when she drowned. About Morgan and Dusty, my complicated relationship with my brother, how he moved and never returned until this last summer, and how he and Dusty are starting over. She had questions too, and I couldn’t be more thankful this first session is over.
I make my next appointment and then get out of the building as fast as I can while still smiling and being polite and holding the door open for a couple walking in. That’s what I do—pretend everything is okay. Don’t show my hand. Try to be in control.
It stopped snowing, and I sit in my truck for a few minutes, waiting for it to warm. My stomach growls, reminding me I haven’t eaten all day. There’s a diner up the road, so I head there, not wanting to wait until I get home, and also not wanting to stop somewhere in Birchbark. I can’t go anywhere there without getting approached by people. Ever since dropping out of the race for mayor and leaving my job as an attorney last year when I walked away from Dad, I do my best to avoid everyone.
The diner is quiet, which I’m thankful for, and has a very UP feel to it. There’s a general store attached, which is busier than the diner.
“Just one?” a young guy with rosy cheeks asks. I’m used to it by now—being just a one. Even when I was married, Lori and I often did things on our own. I’m not even sure she liked me that much, or maybe she thought she could turn me into someone she would like, but that never happened, so she left. Can’t blame her. She isn’t a bad person, and I put work over her, my father over her. The marriage only lasted a few years, but she probably hung in longer than she should have.
“Yes,” I reply.
He grabs a menu and leads me to a booth by a window. I sit on the far side, facing the store and the open doorway between it and the diner, when I see Tripp, whom most people call Cass, and his daughter, Meadow. She’s wearing pants with patches all over them that I can’t make out and carrying a clear bag filled with candy.
It was a week ago that I last saw them. We were all at Archer Thorn’s parents’ house, celebrating East coming home. Archer is East’s boyfriend, and I’m glad they found each other. East…I feared both of us would end up alone. Archer is good for my brother and gives him the family East has always deserved. Tripp is Archer’s best friend, the two having been close most of their lives.
“Can I get you something to drink?” the waiter asks.
“Just water, please,” I reply without taking my gaze off Tripp and Meadow. I think he’s a year younger than my thirty-seven. Tripp is tall and broad like me, though where I have golden skin, black hair, and dark eyes, Tripp is a burly ginger with blue eyes and fair skin. He always has a smile on his face—in a way I don’t understand but can’t look away from. The man got me to have a snowball fight, for crying out loud. I still can’t wrap my head around that.
Meadow looks up, and I whip my head the other direction—which doesn’t look strange at all. I have no idea what’s wrong with me, but I don’t like it. She’s maybe the kindest, most bighearted, mature kid I’ve ever known, and here I am, hoping she doesn’t see me so they don’t come over to talk.