Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 55608 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55608 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
“Are you thinking about…” she trails off. I know what she’s asking, though. Ryan.
“No,” I tell her honestly. “I was thinking about what it would be like to have more children.”
She gasps quietly. I know this is wrong. I should stop. Every step I’ve taken has been wrong. “You want more?” she asks.
I nod and glance at her. She’s looking up at me with those wide, beautiful eyes. “I always wanted more than one child, but things with Ryan’s mom weren’t easy.”
“Relationships are hard,” Molly says. “Not that I have much experience. In fact, Ryan was my first real boyfriend.”
She emphasizes Ryan’s name, leaning forward slightly as she says it like a challenge. She wants me to know she won’t let me forget that I told her this can’t work. Whatever I say, I can’t take those words back. I meant them. No, I should have meant them.
“Your first boyfriend,” I say, “and he treated you like that. It must’ve given you a pretty shitty idea of relationships.”
My fist is clenched against my thigh. It’s like being torn down the middle, knowing I’d do anything to protect my woman from the darkness of this world, killing any man who hurt her, and knowing that my son, my only child, is the one who did it.
“How’s he doing, anyway?” she asks.
“Why do you care?” I reply, sounding petty and pathetic, even to myself.
“I don’t, honestly,” she says.
I smirk. I can’t help it. Her tone is getting that sassy twinge despite everything. “Then why ask?”
“I guess I need to remind you…”
I get it. It’s just what I thought. Maybe that’s a good thing. Otherwise, I’ll forget and kiss her, hold her. It hurts how badly I want to touch my woman.
“I know. I need to be a good boy, don’t I?” I smirk again, but she turns away and looks at the parking lot.
“Do you think they’re happy?” she says, nodding to the family. They’re waiting in line to pay for their parking.
“They look happy,” I reply. “Having a wife you really love. Having a family who never has to experience what it’s like to go through the real darkness. Children should have adversity and challenges they can manage, but it’s a parent’s job to keep them away from the sickness in this world.”
“I agree,” she says, her voice cracking, emotion entering it.
I can’t stop. Or maybe I could if I really tried. I can’t even try when her voice has so much sadness. Reaching over, I place my hand on hers. She lets out a cute, short breath. For a second, she tenses up like she’s going to pull her hand away, but then she holds onto mine.
“What were you thinking just then?” I ask.
“You still haven’t told me what the but is,” she counters. “That’s the reason we came somewhere private, remember? You said you want me, but…”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I say.
“Yeah, Ryan. So why did we need to be someplace private for that?”
“Maybe I just wanted to get you alone.”
Her hand tightens on mine like a reflex. She looks at me almost angrily. “Are you purposefully trying to mess with my head? I hate it when people do that. I’m over it. I promised myself I’d never let it happen again, and then it did with your son. I can’t have it from you, too.”
“No,” I say fiercely, leaning forward, knowing I shouldn’t, not giving a damn, at least now, at this moment. She’s right. What if I come to my senses and tell her to back off again? It’s not fair. Even so, I get closer and closer. “Tell me what happened to you, Molly.”
She purses her lips. I imagine our daughter with the same defiant expression, ready to face whatever life brings her way bravely.
“When I was talking about childhood darkness, you felt something. I heard it in your voice.”
“We’ve had like three conversations,” she snaps. “Do you think you can read me that well?”
She tries to pull her hand away, but I hold her in place. I’m giving her an unfair number of mixed signals. It’s true. I’m an ass, but I need her badly, and that’s the truest thing of all.
“You know what I did,” I say fiercely.
“What you had to do,” she snaps. “What was your other option? Let your dad hurt her? Let him keep hurting her? Anyway, my thing is nothing compared to that.”
“Your feelings are not nothing,” I growl. “They matter. You matter.”
She pulls her hand more forcefully, but I won’t let her go. She stops fighting, tears glistening in her eyes. “Please,” she says.
“Please, what?” I ask.
“Just… I never talk about this.”
I lean even closer, almost near enough to kiss now. I can feel her breath on my face as it picks up pace, her frantic lust. “But you want to. Maybe you need to.”