Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
“Hey, baby—what’s wrong?” Nate looked at her and she felt his anxiety for her coming through loud and clear. It was slightly better than his self-hatred, but it was still a negative emotion, laced with worry.
“Please!” she got out at last. “Your feelings—they’re so strong!”
“I’m sorry!” He unfastened his harness and rose quickly. “I’ll go to the other end of the shuttle.”
“No good,” Lan’ara got out. “Not…far enough.”
She’d always been sensitive to his emotions, even before they’d met in person and started building the Bond between them. But now that they had technically reached the Tasting stage of their Claiming period, the connection was so strong that she would have to go to another planet—hell, another galaxy—to get away from his feelings. Putting him at the other end of the shuttle wasn’t going to help a bit.
“Then go back to your home world,” Nate said quickly. “Please, sweetheart—I don’t want to hurt you anymore!” he added, sounding desperate.
But Lan’ara shook her head.
“Not… enough fuel for another landing and take off,” she tried to explain. “We’ll just have to wait.”
“But my feelings are hurting you!” He raked a hand through his long brown hair. “What the fuck can we do?”
“Once we reach the Mother Ship we can have a priest of the Goddess sever our Bond,” Lan’ara said. It was something she’d been dreading, but it was clearly necessary if she was going to be able to function in the same galaxy as the big human.
“But that’s hours from now,” Nate pointed out. “Is there anything we can do until then?”
If he had been born on Careesa Prime into a world of Empaths, as Lan’ara had been, he would have been able to control his emotions—to shut them off or at least mute them. Unfortunately, humans had no such abilities, so she knew it was useless to ask him not to feel so loudly.
Then an idea came to her—it was unorthodox and it would temporarily strengthen their Bond which was the opposite of what they ought to be doing—but it was the only thing Lan’ara could think of.
She just prayed to the Goddess that it would work—otherwise it felt like her head was going to explode!
FORTY-FOUR
NATE
Nate felt like shit—he was overwhelming Lan’ara with his negative emotions but he couldn’t seem to stop. The worse she looked, the worse he felt because he knew he was making her feel bad and that made him feel even worse. It was a vicious cycle and one he seemed helpless to break.
“I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart,” he said again. “Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?”
“There might be a way…” Lan’ara was rubbing the raised circular ridges at her temples lightly with her fingertips, as though trying to ward off a migraine. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about it, though.”
“Whatever it is, I’m in,” Nate said quickly. Anything to keep from hurting her anymore than he already had. “Do you want to knock me out? Give me some kind of drug until we can get to the Mother Ship?” he offered.
She frowned.
“I don’t believe the ship’s medical supplies have anything that could render you unconscious. Besides, if you fell into a nightmare, I would still be able to feel it and be unable to wake you up,” she added.
“Then what do you want to do?” Nate asked, mystified. He couldn’t think of any other way to keep his emotions from affecting her negatively.
“We must turn negative emotions into positive ones,” Lan’ara said firmly.
“Um, I’ll try,” Nate told her, but he didn’t have high hopes. Every time he tried to concentrate on something positive, his thoughts kept turning back to the fact that he couldn’t be with Lan’ara because he hurt her. It was like his mind was stuck in a rut and every thought he had turned back to their breakup and the reason for it.
But Lan’ara seemed to have an idea. She rose from the pilot’s chair and looked at Nate with clear eyes.
“How do you feel about being restrained?” she asked.
“About what?” Nate frowned. “You mean…you want to tie me up? But why?”
“I need to bring out your positive emotions,” she told him. “I need to be able to touch you without you touching me. Can you let me do that, Nate? Do you trust me enough?”
Nate nodded.
“Of course I trust you, baby. I’m just not sure how this will help.”
“When we touch, the emotions I feel from you become even stronger,” she told him. “I need to be in control—to say when we’ll make physical contact. If I can touch you when you’re having intensely positive emotions, it will fill up my inner reservoir rather than depleting it.”
Nate didn’t really understand her, but he did understand that this was something Lan’ara needed to do. And he was willing to let her do it, he realized—no matter what it was. Even if it involved some discomfort or pain, he wanted her health and happiness more than he wanted his own pleasure and comfort.