Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
“What’s complicated about it? You love him, don’t you?”
“I . . . That’s not an easy question to answer.”
“Yes, it is,” she says. “What’s hard about it? You either love someone or you don’t.”
“It’s just, I think you’re asking a different kind of question. Do I love him? Yes, I’ve always loved him. Since the day I was born, I’ve loved him, but I think you’re asking if I’m in love with him, and that’s where it gets complicated.”
“You are though, right?”
I shrug my shoulders.
“I . . . I really don’t know, Hazel. He broke my heart when he put distance between us, and I don’t think it ever really healed.”
“Well,” she muses, her brows creased in thought. “Is he in love with you?”
I shake my head, desperately willing myself not to cry, hating how much this innocent conversation hurts. “I used to think he was, but then, how could he abandon me the way he did if he were? People who love each other don’t hurt each other like that.”
Her lips press into a hard line, and she looks up at me with those big, sad eyes. “But he was already hurting after Linc died. Maybe he just doesn’t remember how to love you.”
Reaching out for her, I pull my little sister into my arms and hold her tightly against me. She’s always held on to hope that Noah and I would somehow come back together, and I suppose that’s my fault for allowing her to believe that he could come back to me. But after this week from hell, I don’t think it’s possible. I’m losing hope that the old Noah is capable of emerging out of the darkness. It’s consumed him too much. He’s lost for good. “I wish it were that easy,” I tell her, hating the thought of breaking her heart. “I don’t think it’s possible to forget how to love someone, but I think he’s trying really hard to forget.”
“I don’t want him to forget,” she murmurs into my chest. “It was always so fun when Noah and Linc came over.”
She lets out a heavy sigh that breaks my heart before pulling back and looking up into my eyes. “Do you . . . Do you think he stays away because of me? Maybe he doesn’t like me.”
“What?” I ask, horrified. “Not even a little bit. Noah loved you so much. I think he’s just hurting so much from losing Linc that he can’t see how much he’s hurting everyone else. It’s consuming him, and he needs to work through all of that before he can even try to be his old self. I just worry that it’ll be too late.”
“Too late?” she grunts. “It’s already been three years. How much time does he need?”
“Tell me about it!”
“You know this only means you have to go to that party even more now.”
“Huh? If anything, it means I need to stay away.”
“Nuh-uh,” she says, stepping out of my arms and digging back into my closet, searching through my clothes. “You need to go have a great time and ignore him like he doesn’t even matter to you, and then he’s going to be all drooly with big hearts in his eyes and come racing back into your arms.”
A booming laugh tears from my chest. “That easy, huh?” I ask, unable to deny that having a good night out without having to think about Noah Ryan sounds like the best time ever.
“Uh-huh. That easy,” Hazel confirms, finding my black thigh-high boots and high-waisted leather miniskirt. She shoves them at me. “Here, put these on while I find a cute top.”
What in the fresh hell has happened to my sister? One week of middle school has turned her into a fashion guru.
Excitement drums through my veins, and I find myself following directions as I hastily get dressed, pulling on the miniskirt and boots before looking in the mirror, almost horrified by how sexy I look. I’ve never matched these two items before because . . . Well, I’m not a sexy girl. I can do pretty outfits or cute, but I’ve never been able to pull off sexy before.
“Woah,” I murmur, taking it in as Hazel tosses me an oversized sweater that hangs off my shoulder. I quickly pull it on and stare at myself in awe.
“There’s no way you can’t go to that party now,” Hazel says, her eyes brimming with beaming excitement.
“Fine,” I grumble, unable to deny how right she is. It would be a shame to waste an outfit like this. “But I’m only staying for a little while. The second Noah even thinks about ruining my night, I’m out.”
“YES!”
Hazel races from my room, and I hear her out in the hallway, all but hanging over the banister and calling downstairs. “MOM. IT WORKED! SHE’S GOING TO THE PARTY. YOU OWE ME TEN BUCKS!”