Total pages in book: 176
Estimated words: 164533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his very softly. He sucked in a sharp breath, and I remembered the cut on his lip. Pulling away, I sent him an apologetic look. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to … I just …”
“It’s okay.” His gaze was tender. “I don’t mind a bit of pain if it means kissing you.”
My chest erupted with butterflies. I’d never get tired of the sensation. I took his hand, lacing my fingers through his. “You’re so strong, Rhys. I’ve never known anyone like you.”
He shook his head. “I’m not strong, but I will be. One day.”
I frowned. “What do you mean? Of course, you’re strong. If I’d been through what you have, I wouldn’t be as together as you are.”
“I might seem like I’m together, but I don’t feel it,” he said, and it broke something in me. I wished he could see what I saw when I looked at him. I wished he could see the boy I’d been drawn to from the very first time our eyes had met. “I feel like … like I’m just a collection of unformed bits. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like a complete person until I can get away.”
“Away?” I asked, blinking.
“I want to leave Ireland, at least for a couple years. Once the divorce is through and my mam is settled somewhere, I’m going.”
Something twisted in my gut at his words. It didn’t make sense, but I felt panicked, like him leaving Ireland meant I’d lose him. But I was going home in a couple weeks, and then a few weeks after that, I’d be at college. It wasn’t like this thing between us didn’t already have an expiration date. But I’d allowed myself to imagine it was far off in the distant future, something I didn’t need to immediately concern myself about. Suddenly, the weeks felt like they were rapidly hurtling forward, and before I knew it, Rhys and I would be separated. Our brief time together cut heartbreakingly short.
“Where will you go?”
“I want to join the French Foreign Legion, but if they don’t accept me, I’ll get a job somewhere, perhaps in security. I have some savings from working at the hotel.”
I stared at him. I only knew a little about the French Foreign Legion, but what I did know was that it was intense. Rhys wanted to become a soldier? Was that what he meant when he’d said he’d be strong one day? I wanted to tell him that joining some foreign army wasn’t going to fix the pain inside him. That he could become as big and strong and tough as he wanted, but in the end, he might still feel weak on the inside. But there was something in his eyes, something that told me he needed to latch onto this plan of his because if he couldn’t, he’d be completely lost.
I understood how having a goal and a purpose could save you during tough times. When Dad had passed away, I felt like I was floating in a void, unable to find joy or meaning in anything anymore. It was like being in an extended period of shock. But then Mom had pulled me out of it. She’d helped me figure out what I wanted to do, and I threw myself into my studies. Aiming for a scholarship was what had kept me afloat long enough to finally start swimming on my own again.
And that was why I didn’t tell Rhys his plan was flawed, nor did I beg him not to do it because the thought of him fighting in some future war made me panicky. Instead, I drew him close and wrapped my arms around his middle, careful to be gentle and not press against his bruises.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” I said. My heart was already aching, and he wasn’t even gone yet.
“I’ll miss you, too, Charli. Getting to know you this summer, even with all the shitty stuff going on in my life, has made things so much better. Being with you makes me forget about that for a while.”
His words brought on a sudden sense of urgency. I wanted to make the most of whatever time we had left together. I wanted to take care of him while he recovered, feel his body next to mine, kiss every scar, old and new, and show him he was worthy. Time was running out. I didn’t want to waste a single second more.
And that was why I looked up at him and whispered, “Stay in my bed tonight.”
14.
Rhys
“Stay in my bed tonight,” Charli whispered.
It was all I could do not to groan. I had no words, and my brain couldn’t form a single reason to decline. Today had been awful. Adrenaline still pumped through me from what I’d done. I didn’t know if the threat to Dad would work, if his self-preservation would kick in or if he’d simply lose control and lash out instead.