Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 130317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130317 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
But gods, it had been amazing to finally get to touch and pleasure the woman he’d been in love with for so long!
He stroked her hair away from her face—he’d never seen it all the way down before, though she sometimes wore it in a ponytail instead of the severe braid. It looked so lovely falling in silky masses around her shoulders—it framed her face and made her even more gorgeous than she already was—if that was even possible.
Be careful Sev, you’re getting in damn deep over here, a little voice whispered in his head. You ought to be concentrating on this case and exposing the PPP—not fixating on your partner—a female you can probably never have.
But maybe he could have her after all, Sev thought. In the past the two things standing in the way of any kind of relationship had been her marriage to Michael—which was now effectively and completely over—and her lack of interest in him or any other male in a sexual way. Other than a few times he’d scented her unconscious desire, Sev had begun to wonder if his partner was asexual or else if she had buried the sexual part of herself so deeply she didn’t even recognize it anymore.
He thought now that the latter was probably true. Mia had hidden that side of her personality—hidden it even from herself. And now, for some reason, she was finally letting it out.
But there’s something in the way—bad memories she said. Someone hurt her. But who? And how?
Sev didn’t have the answers to those questions, though he desperately wished he did. He felt like they might be the key to unlocking a part of Mia. A part that was vital to letting her love again and possibly form a permanent relationship.
“Goddess,” he prayed silently as he cradled Mia’s sweet body close to his. “She’s been hurt before—badly I think, though I don’t know how. Help me to heal her or at least to help her heal herself. And help me to keep her safe while we’re at this crazy place. I don’t trust anyone here and I have a bad feeling I can’t shake. Watch over us and let me keep Mia from harm—please.”
He didn’t know what else to add to his prayer—what else he could say to the Mother of All life, the Goddess all Kindred worshiped. There was another fear lurking in the back of his mind—a fear that tormented him, though he tried not to think about it—couldn’t even pray about it.
All the talk of husbands “punishing” wives and wives submitting to their husbands had him worried, Sev admitted to himself. It was just too much like the culture on the Dae’mon home world—his home planet. His father, who had been full blooded Dae’mon and his mother who had been a Kindred female from Twin Moons, had been constantly at odds. And often his father had punished her so drastically that even the principles of Ger’prex—the Dae’mon system of domination—had been strained and broken. Her words of safety had gone unanswered—his father had ignored them, though she cried them over and over.
Often Sev had tried to insert himself—to draw his father’s anger away from his mother. He’d taken many beatings to keep her safe. But even when he got old enough to pilot a ship and get the two of them away from his abusive father, she wouldn’t leave.
“I love him, son,” she’s said, shaking her head when Sev demanded that she go with him. “I know you only see the bad side but when things are good well…they’re wonderful.”
“He won’t listen to your words of safety—he’s going to beat you to death one day,” Sev had predicted. He’d been so full of rage at his mother’s refusal to leave their abuser, he could barely speak. Why couldn’t she understand? Why wouldn’t she leave? He had no answers and neither did his mother—she simply wouldn’t go.
At last, Sev had been forced to admit that things were never going to change and if he wanted a different life he would have to make one for himself. The guilt of leaving his mother was a horrible burden to bear—he still tried to call her and check up on her often. But every time he asked, she refused to come away from his father, so what could he do?
That’s what I don’t want, he thought, stroking Mia’s long silky hair again. I don’t want to hurt her like that. These fucking PPP idiots and their “punishments”—if they’re talking about beatings and whippings and anything that goes too far, I’m fucking out of here and I’m taking Mia with me no matter what she says.
Having grown up on a world where D/s was commonly practiced, he knew what was safe…and what wasn’t. He was determined not to cross any red lines with his partner, not even to expose the PPP as a cult. There were some things he just wasn’t prepared to do, no matter what.