Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 131271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Hayes was supposed to be the good guy, but it turns out he’s just like the rest of them, and I’m the biggest idiot for falling for it all.
EPISODE 262
ICING THE CAKE - THE HOCKEY CHANNEL WITH A SWEET BITE
[Video opens with the host from the neck down in her lively kitchen, mixing a bowl of cake batter with a red whisk and an apron stating Baking Truth, Serving Shade]
Anonymous Host:
“Hey, cake lovers and puck fanatics! Welcome back to Icing the Cake, where I mix hockey and baking and drop the occasional truth bombs along the way. Today’s topic? Trick plays. Specifically, the way hockey players love to use those sneaky little maneuvers not just on the ice, but in life. And by ‘life,’ I mean dating.”
[She picks up a small whiteboard with a hastily drawn hockey rink on it and uses a wooden spoon as a pointer.]
Anonymous Host:
“Now, let’s break it down. In hockey, a good trick play is all about confusion. You fake left, dangle right, and bam, your opponent’s so busy chasing shadows that you’ve already scored. It’s genius. It’s ruthless. And it’s kind of a jerk move when they start using the same tactics off the ice.”
[Cut to a clip of Shawn Drayton, Hayes Drayton, and Jacob Drayton, laughing and joking, set to dramatic spy music.]
Anonymous Host:
“That’s right, folks. Trick plays in hockey are genius. Trick plays in dating are a total red flag. Like, they’re out here faking interest, dangling compliments, and making you think you’ve got the puck, only to ghost you or show their true colors when it’s convenient.”
[Back to the host, who’s now whipping up some batter in a giant bowl.]
Anonymous Host:
“So, what’s the perfect recipe for this sneaky behavior? Glad you asked. Today, we’re baking… ‘Trickster Muffins.’ Just like the hockey players who inspired them, these muffins look sweet on the outside, but they’re stuffed with unexpected surprises on the inside.”
[She holds up a muffin tin, each slot filled with batter and something “hidden” inside—marshmallows, spicy peppers, a chunk of cheese, etc.]
Anonymous Host:
“Some of these muffins have gooey caramel in the middle, or a marshmallow. Yummy, right? Others? A jalapeño surprise. And a few? Straight-up rocks of salt, because life isn’t fair, and neither is dating a hockey player who uses trick plays. Like the Draytons, for example. Rumor has it that they run trick plays with the women of Eastern U, but their tired moves need to be scratched out of their playbook before all the women on campus wise up.”
[She pops the muffins into the oven and leans back against the counter with a theatrical sigh, all the while keeping her face out of the frame.]
Anonymous Host:
“Here’s the thing: trick plays have their place—on the ice. When you’re breaking through a defense line or sneaking one past the goalie, it’s smart, even admirable. But when you’re texting ‘You’re the only one for me’ to three different people on the same night? Or pretending to be a decent human when, really, you’re nothing but a sweaty hockey sock? That’s not a hat trick, bud. That’s just sad.”
[She pulls the muffins out of the oven, their golden tops rising beautifully. She picks one up and cuts it open, revealing gooey caramel that oozes out.]
Anonymous Host:
“This one? It’s a caramel-filled dream, but let’s see what happens when you pick the wrong one.”
[She grabs another muffin, cutting it open to reveal a chunk of jalapeño.]
Anonymous Host:
“Spicy, unexpected, and not what you signed up for. Sound familiar? It’s basically the human equivalent of an ‘I really like you, let me into your panties’ with no follow-up. Don’t be fooled by the shiny golden exterior. And this bad boy? Pure salt. Bitter, disappointing, and way too much to handle. Kind of like realizing your hockey ‘bae’ has been using the same pick-up lines on half the student section.”
[She lines the muffins up, placing little fondant hockey sticks on top of each one, because why not?]
Anonymous Host:
“So here’s my advice. When a hockey player, or anyone, for that matter, starts dangling compliments, making you feel special, then shows their true colors faster than a puck on a breakaway, remember it’s not you. It’s them. Their trick plays might work in a game but in life? Eventually, they’re gonna get caught without their gloves on… or their pants.”
[The video closes with her channel logo, the muffin lineup in the background, and her voiceover saying:]
Anonymous Host:
“Until next time, keep it sweet, keep it honest, and remember muffins—and hockey players—aren’t always what they seem.”
[End of video.]
Comments:
@HockeyGirl99:
“The way she dragged the Draytons and baked muffins at the same time?? ICONIC.”
@PuckPrincess21:
“‘Sweaty hockey sock’ has me in tears. I can’t look at them the same way again. #TruthHurts”
@CakeCrusader23:
“‘Not a hat trick, just sad.’ I’m stealing this for my next breakup text. Thanks for the life hacks AND baking inspo.”