Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 131271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
“Letting go is weak,” I say. “Strong people don’t give up. They keep going—”
“Until they die, Jacob? Is that what you think your dad was? Strong? For keeping life-threatening medical issues to himself, risking his own life and the lives of others, and driving when he knew he was at risk of having fits? Quitting hockey and lying to everyone so he didn’t have to admit his weakness? I’m sorry, but your dad was a coward. He couldn’t face his fallibility, and he left you boys to shoulder the responsibility for the end of his career, his unhappiness, his death. Your dad had his reasons for behaving that way, and maybe we should feel sorry for him, but it’s just crazy to keep trying to prove something to a dead man, Jacob. He was a great hockey player, but he sucked at being a father.”
I close my eyes, and she continues to stroke my hair, back and forth, until my pulse lowers, and my body relaxes into hers. “I don’t know who I am without it.” It’s the thing that’s the hardest to admit because getting swallowed whole by a sport, digested until you don’t know up from down, is as weak as giving it up.
“Then you’re about to have so much fun finding out.”
I open my eyes, looking into the beautiful, calm brown eyes of a girl who emerged from my past as a woman with more wisdom than me and my brothers put together. I cup her rounded cheek in my rough palm and brush my lips over hers in a kiss that’s like a whisper of love passing between us.
A promise too.
To see each other. Really see each other for all the days, good and bad, easy and challenging to come.
“Jacob,” she whispers, drawing me into a fierce embrace. “I’ve been so worried.”
“The doc gave me some new meds,” I admit hoarsely. “They’re helping. And he’s sending me for tests.”
“That’s good,” she says, squeezing her arms tighter around me. “That’s really good, Jacob.”
I rest in her embrace, my body sagging with relief I didn’t know I was ready to accept. For the first time in months, the pain isn’t gnawing at me, or the panic.
And for a brief moment, the weight on my chest eases.
For the first time, I let someone else carry it. Riley holds me like she can glue my broken pieces back together, and I don’t fight it. I let her warmth sink in as my exhaustion subsides.
And for now, it’s enough.
EASTERN ICEBREAKERS INSTAGRAM PAGE
Photo: Jacob Drayton celebrating a win, his gloved hand clutching his stick overhead, and his face jubilant.
Caption:
“Jacob Drayton is taking time out for health reasons,” Coach Thornton confirms.
“The team fully supports Jacob’s decision to prioritize his well-being and applauds his courage in putting his health first.
Drayton has been a pivotal part of the Icebreakers’ success this season, and while his presence on the ice will be missed, we know he’ll return stronger than ever when the time is right.”
Drop your messages of support for Jacob below—we’ll make sure he sees them.
#JacobDrayton #IcebreakersNation #HockeyStrong #HealthFirst #Drayton #HockeyFamily #AthleteWellness #PuckLife #HockeySupport #IceHockeyCommunity #WeStandWithJacob
Comments:
“Proud of you for prioritizing your health, Jacob. True strength isn’t just in the game,it’s knowing when to take care of yourself. Take all the time you need!”
“Of course his health is important, but what does this mean for the team? Big shoes to fill!”
“Hockey will always be here, but your health is everything. Rest up, Jacob. We need you back at 100%!”
“Drayton’s great, but health or not, the team can’t afford to lose key players if they want to stay competitive.”
“Another distraction for the Icebreakers. We need to stop letting off-ice drama get in the way.”
“Jacob, let me know if you’re looking for a nursemaid. I look great in sexy scrubs!”
42
RILEY
The smell of roasted garlic and herbs fills the house as I carry a basket of rolls to the dining table. My dad’s hovering over the lasagna, mumbling about not overcooking the cheese while I set the table for five. It’s the first time we’re eating a meal together in over eight years, and it has the air of a new beginning, which only makes me nervous. The circumstances are so different from our last meal. At the time, only my dad was aware that he intended to leave. Was it breakfast or dinner? I can’t remember which is probably for the best.
Jacob’s health has been on my mind constantly since he agreed to seek treatment for his headaches and take some time out of hockey. Even though he keeps telling me and his brothers that he’s not going back, he’s left it open with the team. Coach Thorton was understanding, but he’s worried that Jacob’s departure will affect the rest of the season, and he’s probably right. Skarsgard, Collins and the others will step into the breach, but Jacob’s skates will be hard to fill. I watch him out of the corner of my eye, as I’ve taken to doing, willing away the tension from his jaw. He’s been telling himself that quitting will mean letting everyone down for so long that it’s hard to undo those concerns overnight.