Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 131821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
A laugh leaves me instantly, and slowly Mason relaxes, a low chuckle pushing past his lips.
“Here.” I reach out.
Mason holds on to Deaton a second longer, almost like if he hands him over, he has no idea how long it might be before he gets the chance to hold him again, and it’s heartbreaking.
It’s your fault, Payton.
Hesitantly, he passes him to me. I turn Deaton to face me, and when a wave comes, I make an excited little sound, widening my eyes and opening my mouth wide.
Deaton tenses from the cool water but just as quickly starts stomping his feet, fighting to bend at the waist so he can slap at it with his palms. I hold him back at first but end up setting him on his butt between my legs so he can play for a few minutes.
“He’s a total water baby,” I say, though I’m not sure why I’m whispering. “Bath times are his favorite times.”
When I look at Mason, he’s not looking at me. He’s smiling softly at my son, and a heavy sense of longing washes over me.
“Look how strong he is now, sitting up all by himself,” he notes, reaching out to splash at the water with him.
“Yeah.”
He must hear the happiness in my voice, because he looks at me then, an agonizing tenderness in his gaze. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“No.” My denial is too fast. Too rushed. Too loud.
“I’ve been here four times this summer.” Mason’s brown eyes hold mine. “You were gone every single one of those times.”
“My internship at Embers Elite is demanding and—”
“And you wrapped that up in May, freeing up your schedule until it starts again at the end of summer.” He studies me. “We talked all about it…when you were still taking my calls and answering my messages.”
My lips clamp closed, and I swallow. A gust of wind kicks, and a piece of hair falls into my face. Instantly, his hand lifts, but as if he didn’t even know it was happening, he frowns and drops it back to his lap.
A heavy ache settles in my bones, and I don’t know if it’s because he was going to touch me or because he didn’t.
Clearing my throat, I push to my feet, taking Deaton with me. “I should get him cleaned off and—”
“Payton.”
“—inside so he can take a nap and—”
“Payton.”
I all but run back toward the house, bypassing the others and happy to find the kitchen empty when I tear through the back patio door into the house, but before I can close it behind me, Mason’s hand slips in, gently easing it back open. Leaving him there, I hurry toward the bathroom, looking for a place to set Deaton down.
Mason appears, pulling him from my hands, and I drop to my knees, turning on the bathtub and securing his bath seat in the center.
I don’t look at him as I take Deaton from his hands and strip him down to nothing, sliding him into the plastic seat.
Mason doesn’t leave. He bends, grips my chin, and turns my head toward his, frustration drawing creases to the edges of his depthless brown eyes.
Tears prick my own, and at the sight, whatever he wanted to say dies on his lips.
He stands and walks away, and it’s not until I hear the soft click of the slider door that I fall to my ass, burying my face in my hands.
He’s right. I am avoiding him, and he did come here three times this summer. According to the messages I left on read, the only reason he came…was for me.
My eyes fall to Deaton, who plays happily in the warm water, and I know that’s not right.
Mason didn’t come home for me.
He came for us.
CHAPTER FIVE
Payton
Before, July 5
The pounding on the door sounds again, and my heart leaps into my throat, suffocating me.
Oh god. This is it.
“Payton, open the door!” the boy I left behind when I ran hysterically shouts from outside. “Please open the door. Please.” He bangs his fist again.
He’s here. He found me.
He came for me…
“Peep”—Parker holds his hands out—“talk to me. What do we do?”
I don’t respond. I can’t. I’m frozen in place, staring at the white wood like it might crack and splinter into a million pieces, revealing a broken boy on the other side.
“Payton,” Lolli whispers, and I jolt. I hadn’t even noticed her walking closer. “He sounds worried. Maybe we should let him in, if only to show him you’re okay.”
Shit. shit, shit.
Another knock.
“Open it,” I rasp, pressing my hand to my stomach, hoping to settle the sudden queasiness.
My brother opens the door, and there he is, sagging against the frame.
His hair is all over the place instead of in the neat styled curls he normally wears, and his collared shirt is wrinkled from every angle.
He hasn’t spotted me yet, pleading for Parker to put him out of his misery. “Please tell me she’s here. I’ve…I don’t know where else to go. She just…she disappeared and—”