Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 123672 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 618(@200wpm)___ 495(@250wpm)___ 412(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123672 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 618(@200wpm)___ 495(@250wpm)___ 412(@300wpm)
“How can you say that?” I question, my voice trembling. “It changes everything. You stalked me for weeks. I put lingerie on for you and let you do things to me that I wouldn’t have been so brave to do with you so soon in our relationship. I was happy exploring those messed-up fantasies with the stranger in my room because it didn’t mean what it would have meant had I known it was you. It was a thrill that I never knew I was even into, but in a relationship, they’re things that I would have liked to explore with you and taken my time when I was ready. Hell, for those few weeks, I feared for you. I thought this stalker was going to realize that I was falling for you and hurt you, and you allowed me to believe that.”
“That’s just the thing, Mace. Everything that I threw at you, you were more than ready for. You just didn’t know it,” he says. “Running through the park last night, it was the fear that got you off, not me. Before I’d even touched you, you were already soaking wet, but had you known what I was planning, it wouldn’t have been the same.”
“So, what? You’re saying I have some kind of fucked-up fear kink and that I should be thanking you for helping me discover it?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all, but for the record, a fear kink is exactly what you have, and there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s hot as fuck, and as long as you know where to draw the line, they can be the best sexual experiences you’ve ever had.”
I scoff, pulling away just an inch, but that’s as much space as he’s willing to allow. “I don’t think you know a damn thing about drawing lines.”
He shrugs his shoulders as that cocky, boyish grin I love surfaces on his face. “Perhaps you’re right,” he tells me. “But ask yourself, have I ever hurt you? Have I ever crossed a line when it comes to sex?”
My brows furrow as I think over the times he’s snuck into my bedroom. He’s always scared the shit out of me, always left me trembling with fear, but he’s not once physically hurt me. You know, apart from the syringe in the neck, but desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose. And as for crossing the lines, there’s been plenty of times, more than I care to count, but when it came to being physical, I was always more than eager to allow him to touch me. I was more than a willing participant.
“I mean, you ate my pussy while I slept,” I point out. “A girl can’t exactly consent to that while she’s sleeping.”
“Are you telling me if you could go back and tell me no that you would?”
I swallow hard and shake my head. He’s got me there. He knew I wanted it. He knew how much the feel of his mouth closing over my clit turned me on. Hell, if I could go back, I’d tell him to do it a million times over.
Pride flashes in his dark eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
A heavy silence surrounds us, and I find myself clutching his hands, wishing that things could be different, that we could have fallen in love the normal way and then he could have slowly introduced me to all of this craziness instead of dumping it on me like this. “I want to trust you, Alex,” I tell him, meaning every single word.
“You shouldn’t,” he says. “Just because I don’t want to end your life, doesn’t mean that I won’t slip. If you push me too hard or I’ve had a bad day . . . I’m not sure I will always have the control to hold back, Kyah. You need to be careful with me. I talk a big fucking game, telling you that I’m not going to hurt you, but the truth of the matter is that I’m only human, and I have plenty of downfalls. I lose control just like everybody else.”
I shake my head, snaking my arms back around his neck and pulling him in, his lips barely an inch from mine. “I think we’ve already proven that I’m a little messed up too, and for some reason, I trust you. You’re not going to hurt me, Alex. You’ve had plenty of opportunities to take my life. You stood over me while I slept and didn’t lay a finger on me. I trust you.”
Alex considers me a moment, leaning back onto his hands, just sitting there deep in thought. “What do you want, Kyah?” he asks. “I don’t want to let you go, nor do I think I’d be able to leave you alone if you were to walk away, but I also care about you too much to keep you locked up like this. I know you love your home, and you’re proud of your work. It’s a part of who you are, so I don’t wish to keep you from that, but now knowing who I am, what do you see?”