Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 103008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 515(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
If what he was talking about didn’t scare me half to death, I’d be tempted to strip naked and distract him.
Unfortunately, he’s talking about someone psychologically terrorizing me, so you know, my boner is a little fickle.
“Keep me updated.” Brix huffs and ends the call.
He throws the phone on the bed and grunts.
“Come here.” I move to my knees on the mattress and inch toward the edge of the bed.
He steps closer, making me crane my neck to look at him. “How are you doing? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. You being your badass self makes me feel better about the whole thing.”
His big, warm hands snake around my back, and he lowers his forehead to mine. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
“I trust you.”
He dips his head, his lips inching closer to mine, but I hold firm.
“Even when you keep shit from me.”
“I’ve been waiting for that.” Brix pulls away from me and goes to lean against the dresser.
I sit back on the bed.
“I didn’t tell you I was tailing Webber because we didn’t know if there was a reason to be following him. Trav thinks I was being overprotective, but there’s no such thing when it comes to you. And it seems the minute we stopped watching him, he made a move. I’m not going to apologize for not telling you because it’s my job to take care of that shit for you. You’re not going to get your album recorded if you’re too busy worrying about your safety.”
I guess he makes a point. “All right, but you’ve got to give me something. When it comes to work, I don’t like being kept in the dark. I understand your point, so I’ll let it go, but what about you? I know you’re keeping shit from me, just like you are the rest of your team. They know your secret, by the way. They’re just respectful enough not to push you.”
Brix’s lip twitches. “You’re not going to be as respectful as them, I’m guessing.”
I shake my head. “Nope. Because whatever this is between us means I should know more about your life than your work colleagues. You don’t give me anything. All I know is your mom died and you were an army brat. You pay someone else’s medical bills, unless you have some sort of illness you’re hiding from me. I was thinking earlier about what you are to me, and I realized that while you’re possibly the most important person in my life, I don’t think you see me the same way. This life isn’t so lonely and isolating when you’re by my side telling me I don’t need to give in to what everyone expects of me. You make me feel safe. You give me … everything. But you don’t let me in.”
“Harley …”
I can’t look at him. “When I thought you could’ve been fired today, I was devastated, but I assumed if given the choice, you’d choose your job. You need the money, and I have no other reason to believe you’re in this for me.”
Brix is amazing at making me realize my worth and validity, but today I realized something else: I might not be enough for him.
“I need something, Brix.”
“I’m used to being on my own.” His words are mumbled and soft. “I don’t know how to do”—he waves his finger between us—“this.”
“I’ve already been in a relationship where I kept taking and taking, and I can’t do it again. I can’t lose another person I care about because I’m too selfish to see past what they need. But I can’t give you what you need when you won’t even let me know the true you. Deep scars, secrets, and all.”
“I need you. That’s what I need.”
“But I—”
“Don’t you get it? When you smile at me—truly smile—it’s the biggest accomplishment I could ever achieve. I went into this job thinking it would be an easy six months, a big paycheck, but that it’d be boring as hell. I had no idea I’d meet someone who not only asks for my opinion but appreciates it. You give me a sense of purpose—”
“How romantic,” I say dryly. “I need you to make me feel good about myself so you can feel good about yourself. That’s fucked-up and codependent.”
“It’s not codependent. And what we have is not fucked-up. We’re two guys from completely different upbringings, completely different lives, yet we see something in each other that no one else does. You think you’re shallow and that there’s nothing behind the pop star and the manufactured persona the label gave you, but when I look at you, I see someone who wants to be appreciated. Who wants validation and respect. I see someone who’s begging to be loved.”
My cheeks heat. This man, he knows how to read me so well. He can see past the PR bullshit. But he never lets me see him.