Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
Now, I’m imagining the largest penises I have ever seen and mentally placing them onto my dad like part of a Mr. Potato Head. I’m ruined. Scarred for life.
Colten Fucking Mosley.
“At the hospital, while you were getting an X-ray, he made me promise to never mention what I witnessed. And that’s when I had to promise to never kiss you again, and he suggested I learn to shoot a rifle. As of this very moment, the rifle promise is the only one I kept.”
In med school, I had to help separate two people who were stuck together. His penis piercing got caught on her tongue piercing, and very sensitive skin was ripping apart. That image is more pleasant than the one Colten just planted in my brain.
“I need to tell your mom that you want a salad, and you need to never speak to me again.” My head continues its back-and-forth swivel. “Like … ever. Got it?”
Colten takes several steps toward me, fingers tucked into his front pockets. “Did you ever think of me? In the past seventeen years, have you thought about me much?” He glances at the floor for a second before returning his gaze to mine. It’s the innocent, boyish thing he used to do. He’s no longer a boy nor is he innocent.
I purse my lips for a moment.
“I did,” he says before I find my answer. “I thought about you so many times. I wondered how you were doing. I hoped you were okay.”
“Okay?” I ask, grunting a tiny laugh. “Did you think I wouldn’t be okay without you? Did you honestly think you were my everything? If that’s what you thought, then it only makes the way you treated me that much crueler. Doesn’t it?”
Pursing his lips to the side, he takes a quick glance over my shoulder and nods slowly before meeting my gaze again. “I knew you’d be fine without me. I never doubted that. I knew that no man, including me, would be the be-all and end-all of your life and success. That didn’t make me think about you any less. Other things can happen in life that might make one not okay. A car accident. Someone pulling a knife on you. Cancer … so many things. When we graduated, my mom said if I was going to let you go, I had to really let you go. She didn’t tell me much about your life, and I knew she kept in touch with your parents for a long time.”
He shrugs. “I assumed she’d let me know if you died, but beyond that … I had only my thoughts, my curiosity, and my hopes that you were, in fact, okay. I’m not sure I’ve gone a full day without thinking of you.”
Why is he telling me this?
“I’m going to tell your mom you’re having salad.” I turn and head toward the stairs.
“Josie?”
I ignore him. For someone who can’t look back with any sort of regret, he sure does have a lot of things to say about the past.
“He wants salad,” I announce just as Becca sets the casserole on the table along with a serving spoon.
“That took a while.” She eyes me with a knowing look on her face. I’m not sure what she thinks she knows, but probably as much as I do.
“He’s chatty.”
She chuckles. “He has his best friend back in his life. The last time I saw him, he wasn’t this happy.”
I transfer the plates from the counter to the table. “Miss Reagan is here. Happiness personified.”
“I know his Reagan high. This is different.” Becca transfers salad from a bag into bowls. “You owe him nothing. I love my son, but I’ve always thought of you like a daughter. So as someone who shares a motherly love for you, believe me when I say you owe him nothing. Unless …”
I set the last plate in its spot and glance up at Becca while Reagan shoves her crayons back into the box. “Unless what?”
She shakes a bottle of ranch dressing. “Unless you feel good about him being back in your life too.”
“I’m here for you, Becca. I don’t have dinner with him alone. He’s in my life as someone in my work world. That’s it.”
“Daddy play piano!” Reagan runs to Colten as soon as he comes down the stairs.
“After dinner.” He picks her up and tosses her over his shoulder, and she giggles. When he sets her down at the table, he nuzzles his face into her neck and kisses her over and over.
Reagan squeals and giggles more.
Becca leans in and whispers, “I don’t think that’s how one looks at someone in their work world,” while brushing past me to the table with three salad bowls in her hands.
I quickly glance away when she looks over her shoulder and gives me another knowing look. It’s as familiar as the looks Colten gives me. Becca used to settle fights between us and gave me a look when I said I hated Colten. The look that said she knew I was crazy about him, and that’s why I let him under my skin so often.