Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
“Shut up, Josie. Just shut the fuck up.” I grab her face and kiss her.
Taste her.
Inhale her.
With her lips pressed to mine, I come to life for the first time since our wedding day. The gaping hole she left in my heart fills with her touch, expanding my chest, healing it one slow breath, one slow beat at a time. When I release her mouth, I whisper over her lips, “You died for this life. You died to give up that life, to forget it. So please … please let it go. Be who you are, not who you think you were. Be mine. Not his.”
“I’m broken,” she whispers in a shaky voice.
“Baby, we’re all a little broken. I’ll take you chipped, cracked, or shattered into a million little pieces.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Josie wouldn’t go with me to homecoming our senior year. Over the summer, I got a fake ID, started drinking on the weekends, and dove headfirst into self-destruction. She also didn’t tell anyone. Not my parents. Not hers.
I never knew why she kept my secrets yet refused to do something as simple as go to homecoming with me. Either she liked me, or she didn’t.
Nothing was that simplistic with Josie. I should have known that, but I was too self-absorbed in my own miserable life to see her—really see her.
“Jason is a dick. Why would you go with him to homecoming?” I leaned my back against the lockers while Josie swapped out her books before her calculus class.
“Because he asked me.”
“So you’ll go out with any guy who asks you out as long he isn’t me?”
She slammed her locker door shut and glared at me. “I want to graduate. I want to have a clean record to get into college. I want a future that doesn’t involve addiction. And before you decided to let your dad win, I thought I wanted you.” She took off down the hallway.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Let my dad win?”
“Colten, I have to get to class.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I grabbed her arm to stop her.
She sighed. “Let go of me. I don’t have time for this.”
“Time for this? You mean time for me. No time to talk to me. No time to go to homecoming with me because you no longer want me? Really? We’ve come this far and you’re done? We’re done?”
“I’m going to class. I don’t know what you’re doing.” She took several steps and turned her head, resting her chin on her shoulder while her dark eyes lifted to mine. “Do you, Colten? Do you know what you’re doing?”
I let her go. I had a way of letting her go when I knew she was right, and I was too stubborn to admit it.
So Josie went to homecoming with Jason, and I spent the evening drinking under the bleachers. Alcohol on school property. Not my finest hour.
When I felt adequately buzzed, I sauntered toward the school entrance and waited for Josie and Jason to leave the dance. They were kind enough to not keep me waiting too long. An hour before the dance ended, Josie pushed through the doorway, giggling like Jason was somehow entertaining her. She looked pretty in her white dress and hair pulled back with ringlets around her face. Her nails were painted light pink like the color of her lip gloss.
I didn’t go to homecoming with Josie because my dad wanted me to go to the dance since it was my senior year. Fuck him. I wasn’t going to the dance because he thought I should go.
“Josie …” Her name slurred from my lips as I stumbled toward her. “Did you have fun with Jason?” I asked as if Jason wasn’t standing right next to her.
“Have you been drinking?” she asked, but she knew the answer.
I held up my fingers and tried to measure an inch. “A wee bit.”
“How are you getting home?”
I patted my pocket, then my other pocket, then my back pocket before I felt my keys. “My truck.”
“You can’t drive.”
“Well, you wouldn’t go with me, so I had to drive myself.” I laughed and shrugged, finding it nearly impossible to hold still because everything around me seemed to be moving.
“Dude, you’re going to get suspended. Just call your parents.”
“Dude … I didn’t ask for your fucking opinion. I didn’t ask for you to take my girl to homecoming, and I’m sure as shit not going to call my parents because you said I should.”
“Colten …” Josie reached for my arm.
“Uh uh uh … don’t touch me. We’re not allowed to touch because you didn’t say yes to me. And I told your dad I wouldn’t date you or kiss you. Maybe even screw you. I can’t remember for sure.” I scratched my chin.
“God … you’re a mess. Give me your keys.”
“Can’t. Gotta go. Don’t fuck him, Josie. I heard he has crabs.”