Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
A serial killer.
I can’t say the words. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say them.
Colten’s head stays on an endless swivel like it’s running on batteries. Back and forth. He can shake his head until it breaks from his neck. It won’t change anything. God, I wish it could.
“I need you to let me be Dr. Josephine Watts, Medical Examiner. Our paths will cross with work. That’s it. I can’t marry you. I can’t be your friend. I can’t be anything to you.”
His gaze shifts from me to the window, and he squints just as the sun catches his eyes. “I think we should have a small family-only ceremony in January. After the holidays. We’ll take a week and honeymoon in Costa Rica or Ecuador. We’ll rent a little place near a beach. Sun. Tropical food. Lazy mornings in bed. I’ll book us massages and maybe a rainforest tour. It will be perfect.” The only thing that’s perfect is his smile. It’s perfectly heartbreaking.
“Also, did I mention we found the motherlode of evidence for your favorite chainsaw killer? We had enough for an arrest, but the conviction will be a slam dunk now. He had an underground storm shelter. We must have passed it a hundred times because it was covered in brush and grass. Then Rains heard something squeak under him. I don’t think we would have otherwise found it. Isn’t that crazy? The saw we confiscated before the arrest wasn’t on his property, but it had his prints. Before he lawyered up, he said he found it in a dumpster—he does work for a sanitation company, so it wasn’t implausible. But there was blood all over it, so why would he salvage it and put it in the back of his truck?”
I wait for him to return his attention to me, and I offer a sad smile. “Colten.”
He deflates when I don’t take part in his distraction. Then he shrugs a shoulder, neutral expression. “It’s my turn.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Your turn to be the bossy one, huh?”
Stupid childhood promise.
“After you broke your arm, you said I could be the bossy one in approximately twenty years. It’s been twenty-one years since you promised me control. It’s past due.”
Colten nods. He’s wearing such a serious expression. It’s a brave one.
“There was an asterisk with fine print. Did you read it when I made that promise to you? I think it said the agreement was null and void if it was discovered that either one of us was a murderer in another life.”
“Reagan will be our flower girl.” The hint of a smile pulls at his lips. “She’ll be ecstatic. Katy said she loved being a flower girl at her wedding.”
He has no idea how thin the thread holding me together is. I’m not sure how many more mornings I will be able to justify waking up, breathing in and out, and existing in this “Vita Atonement.” I can’t plan this wedding. I can’t find an ounce of enthusiasm for his storm shelter discovery.
“I took little girls like Reagan, shaved their heads, and I killed them.”
Colten winces. “Shut up. Just … don’t ever say that again.”
“Look at you,” I whisper, refocusing on his chest. “You couldn’t fuck me hard enough last night. I felt nothing while shredding your skin.” I slowly turn so he can see the back of my arms. “I didn’t feel this either. I’m dead inside. I’ve always been dead inside.” I turn back around. “All this time, I’ve been pretending. I even fooled myself into thinking that I could be a little normal, a little humane.”
“I’m not walking away.”
“I’m not giving you a choice.” I tip my chin up, jaw set.
He grunts a laugh and pivots. “I have to work.”
I don’t move. Maybe I can’t. Or maybe my idleness is symbolic of standing my ground. Really shaky ground.
Minutes later, Colten emerges from the bedroom with his white shirt untucked and partially buttoned and his tie in hand. He’s the sexiest man I have ever seen. I think his presence in my life is the biggest catalyst for my life reparation. I took what mattered most to other people in that other life, and in this one, I will have to give up what matters most to me.
“I love you,” he says. “And I’ll see you later.” He bends to kiss me.
I take a step backward, averting my gaze to the floor.
He releases a soft sigh. “I’m never leaving you again.”
I know this. I believe him. I will be the one to leave him.
After my front door clicks shut behind him, I pad my way to it and flip the deadbolt. Colten Mosely will not step foot in my house again unless it’s to remove my lifeless body from it.
CHAPTER SIX
“I can’t be your boyfriend ever again,” I said the day after Josie got her cast.