Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
“There! Feel it?” she asked.
He shook his head, the disappointment stronger than he would have expected.
She let out a sigh and frowned an adorable pout that had him aching to kiss her on those luscious lips. “I was worried about that. The books say sometimes the first kicks are only felt by the mom. It can take a few more weeks until you can feel it from the outside.”
At which point, he might be long gone. The thought lingered unspoken between them, but Cole didn’t want to ruin the closeness they were sharing. Nor could he tell her what was really going through his mind because he could hardly grasp the enormity of the thought himself. But if he had to be truthful, Cole couldn’t begin to wrap his mind around picking up and leaving Erin or his child behind. Scarier still? Even if she weren’t pregnant, even if he’d spent these weeks protecting just her, Cole knew he would still feel the same way.
This woman, so capable and independent on the outside, so soft and genuine and giving on the inside, had carved out a place for herself in Cole’s heart. And that was something he’d never believed possible. Given how he lived—not just his job, which kept him isolated from the real world, but his preference to remain that way even when off duty—the concept of love and sharing a life had never crossed his mind.
For Cole, sex had fulfilled a basic need. Until he caught sight of Erin in a light purple bridesmaid’s dress in Joe’s Bar. She’d forever altered the course of his life. He just didn’t know what to do about his feelings for her and the only life he’d ever known.
She watched him, her eyes warm and focused on his face as they lay in comfortable silence. His hand remained on her belly, and she didn’t seem inclined to ask him to move it. Instead, she pressed it against the small baby bump, practically willing him to feel the kicks.
“I guess you can turn off the light,” she finally said in a low voice, sounding as disappointed as he was that he hadn’t been able to feel their child.
He reached over and turned off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness.
“Are you okay?” she asked him.
He knew she meant about Jed, not the baby. “Normally, I’m pretty accepting about whatever life throws at me, but Jed’s heart attack caught me off guard.” And knocked down every wall he’d erected to protect himself from his father.
“Hopefully, he’ll come through fine,” Erin said. “Then maybe you two will have a chance to repair the relationship.”
Cole groaned. “Don’t hold your breath for that to happen.” He wasn’t. And he didn’t want her to be hurt when her hope for reconciliation didn’t work out.
She shifted, obviously trying to get comfortable. “Babies can work miracles,” she said into the darkness. “Or so people say.”
He didn’t know about babies, but he was starting to believe in Erin. As the minutes ticked by, he listened to her breathing even out. Knowing she was finally falling asleep, Cole ached to pull her into his arms and feel her soft, sleepy body curl into his. He missed her warmth, her smile, her happiness aimed at him.
It took everything in him to stay on his side of the bed, but he did. Because he’d promised himself he wouldn’t send her mixed messages and taking advantage of her being there when he needed her would be all kinds of wrong.
Although wanting to hold her didn’t feel wrong, but instead felt all kinds of right.
Chapter Seventeen
Erin woke in Cole’s arms, warm, comfortable, and safe, feeling as if she was exactly where she belonged, with the father of her baby and the man she loved. And that thought had her slipping out of bed to shower before he awakened.
Last night had been a precious gift, one she hadn’t expected but would always appreciate. They hadn’t had sex, yet they couldn’t have been more intimate if he’d been inside her body. He’d touched her belly, tried to feel their baby kick, and had been as invested in the moment as she’d been.
He hadn’t made a move on her, but she had to admit that if he had, she wouldn’t have resisted or turned him away. She’d have grabbed that one final moment with him, and probably regretted it later. Which was why she hadn’t been the aggressor. Last night was about Cole, his pain, and what he needed from her.
He’d given so much to her these past weeks, putting his life on hold to watch out for her, take care of her, and she was grateful for the chance to give back. She didn’t blame him for not being able to offer more—he’d made no promises. She’d done what she needed to do, tried to see if they could be more, and had come to accept his limitations.