Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 62015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 310(@200wpm)___ 248(@250wpm)___ 207(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 310(@200wpm)___ 248(@250wpm)___ 207(@300wpm)
“Get the fuck out of here.”
“Wha...who are you?”
I leaned into her so I could whisper in her ear.
She turned sheet white before she pulled back to look me in the face.
“Well....fine, I’ll just come back later then.”
“Don’t bother; you can see her when she’s well enough to decide if that’s what she wants.”
“Joshua what the hell is going on, you’re being rather presumptuous aren’t you, that’s Carrie’s mother....”
“Yeah and you’re her father, and I’m her soul mate and we each in our own way let her down. I’m fixing my shit starting now, and that means no one gets near her again.”
“Boy.....”
“Captain I’m not doing this here with you, not while she’s lying there like that but I will tell you this, one day you should ask your daughter about her life with her so called mother.....”
“I don’t know what lies Carrie told you......
“Carrie doesn’t lie, she’s the most honest fucking person I know, and she didn’t tell me shit, I read it in the diaries she’s been keeping since she was ten years old you bitch.”
I knew I was losing my shit, partly due to guilt and partly because I knew that most of my lamb’s issues stemmed from her treatment at this bitch’s hands.
I turned to the Captain next.
“I fucked up, but we got a shit load of work to do, you can either work with me or against me, but know this, no one will come between us, no one, and before you go casting blame know that this was always bound to happen, she’s always been on a collision course with disaster, you’re partly to blame for that too, not because you didn’t care, but because you didn’t know.”
“What the hell are you talking about son?”
“Not here Captain and I’m not leaving her so it’ll have to be another time.”
“Paula you better start talking.” He pulled her down the hall by her elbow.
“You okay there son?” Dad came over to me as the others left the room.
“I will be....dad I fucked up.”
“How so son?”
I’d never shied away from telling my parents anything, why start now.
“Carrie pissed me off and I....I reacted badly, I might’ve gone too far. She made this comment about some guy she met in Europe; looking back I can see that it was just a joke to her...but at the time.......”
“Knowing you son, I know you wouldn’t be able to see the humor in something like that. Does she have any idea what you feel for her?”
“No, not really,...I’ve spent so much time trying to get her to see that side of me, the side that she’d have to put up with for the rest of her life, that I think I neglected to show her my heart.”
“Joshua, son, you’re like your grandpa, old before your time, you don’t think like a teenager, it might be hard for a young girl to understand your more...... intense ways.”
Yeah my father knows I’m a dominant fuck, the thing is, this isn’t a bedroom persona, this is who I am, and I’m honest enough to know it’s who I’ll always be.
I can’t promise that I’ll never hurt my lamb again, but I can promise that I’ll never let her come to this ever again, not by my doing or anyone else’s.
She slept fitfully off and on for the rest of the morning.
I read to her, sang to her, and throughout it all I held her.
My family and her dad were in and out all day until the Captain had to go to work. We exchanged a long stare before he left.
He got the picture, I wasn’t going anywhere, the funny thing is Carissa thought I was overbearing before, this shit was only going to make it worse.
Now I knew how weak she really was, I was going to be even more of a dick, my protector shield was in place, she needed me, I needed her. We just had to meet halfway.
When she finally awoke we just stared at each other until she broke down in tears and almost tore my fucking heart out of my chest.
“Baby, don’t, I’m sorry little lamb, I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t know, didn’t realize.”
“I hate you.”
She said this even as she clung to me.
“I know I’ll make it better.”
“You promised.”
I felt my own tears start to fall....fuck for the first time in my life I felt like a seventeen year old boy.
“I love you lamb, I’ll never hurt you like that again....but you have to stop running away.”
“I didn’t leave because you whipped me Joshua; I left because......you shouldn’t be trying to control me.”
I held her closer; her words were soft and weak, her body still fighting to come back to itself. The doctors say it’ll be a while, maybe a few weeks, but as long as she keeps a steady diet she should be back to normal.