Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 235897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1179(@200wpm)___ 944(@250wpm)___ 786(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 235897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1179(@200wpm)___ 944(@250wpm)___ 786(@300wpm)
“Violet,” he groans against my mouth, and I fucking liquefy.
I shrug out of my flight jacket and hear it hit the table, but losing the layer doesn’t relieve the insistent heat threatening to burn me alive. Only Xaden can do that. His hand flexes on my hip, then strokes over the curve of my waist as he sucks on my bottom lip, and I moan at the shiver of pure want that dances up my spine.
I reach for his uniform top and skim my fingers along it before yanking the soft linen undershirt free from his pants. My hands are met with warm, soft skin draped over ridges of hard muscle, and I trace the two lines along the edges of his stomach until they disappear into his leathers.
He drags a breath through his teeth, then thoroughly kisses every thought from my head, holding me in the acute state of madness only he can provoke, then driving me higher until we’re a tangled mess of tongues and questing hands.
His mouth skims my jaw, then the sensitive line of my throat, and I gasp when he targets the spot he knows will turn me molten, then lingers, ensuring my complete meltdown.
“You…” My head rolls back to give him better access, and he takes it. Fire races through my veins, and power quickly follows in a one-two punch that knocks my common sense clear off the Continent. “Xaden, I need you.”
Here. A table in the gathering hall. Against the wall in fucking commons. I don’t care where or who sees as long as I can have him right now. If he’s game, then I am, too. A low sound rumbles in his throat before he wrenches his mouth away.
“No, I need you.” He brings his face to mine, and too many emotions to name flicker in the depths of his eyes.
“You have me,” I whisper, lifting my hand to the side of his neck, just over his relic. His pulse thrums beneath my fingers, just as fast and hard as mine.
“There was an hour where I wasn’t sure I did.” His fingers slip to the nape of my neck, and then he pulls away, retreating two precious steps that feel like miles as cool air rushes in to take his place, chilling my heated cheeks. “Sgaeyl didn’t even tell me. Chradh told Garrick.” He shakes his head. “I wasn’t just angry, Violet. I was terrified.”
The tortured look on his face makes me swallow, and I lean forward to grasp the edge of the table. “It’s the same choice you would have made—the choice we did make, and I’m all right.”
“I know that!” His voice rises, and shadows don’t just jump; they flee.
Well, that’s different.
He rakes his hand down his face and breathes deeply. “I know that,” he repeats, softer this time. “But the thought of you being out there, beyond the wards, facing down a known attack of venin, triggered something in me I’ve never felt before. It was hotter than rage, and sharper than fear, and cut deeper than helplessness, all because I couldn’t get to you.”
My lips part, and an ache takes root in my chest. I hate that he’s going through this.
“I would have killed anything and anyone in that moment to reach you. No exceptions. I would have channeled every ounce of power beneath my feet without hesitation if it would have landed me at your side.”
“You’d never kill civilians,” I counter with a hundred percent certainty.
He takes another step backward. “If I’d been there, beyond the wards, I would have drained the very earth to its core to keep you safe.”
“Xaden…” I whisper, every other word failing me.
“I’m well aware that you can handle yourself.” He nods and retreats again. “And logically, I respect your choice. Hell, I’m proud of your decision to save Maren’s family. But something is broken between here”—he taps the side of his head—“and here”—he repeats the motion above his heart. “And I can’t control it. You are on orders to find Andarna’s kind, and I’m on orders to the front, and I can’t even trust myself enough to touch you.”
“You just did.” My fingers scrape the rough wood and I shift my weight as I fight the selfish need to close the distance between us, remembering the thumbprints on my headboard. He might feel like he’s spiraling, but he just displayed complete control.
“And that’s good enough for you?” His gaze heats as it wanders over my body. “One kiss. No hands. Fully clothed. That’s what you want from me from now on?”
What a loaded question, especially when my body is still humming for him. But every instinct tells me to tread carefully. “I want whatever you’re able to give, Xaden.”
“No.” His scarred eyebrow rises as he slowly walks back to me. “You forget that I know your body as well as my own, Vi.” His thumb ghosts across my lips. “Your mouth is swollen, your face is flushed, and your eyes…” He skims his tongue over his lower lip. “They’re all hazy and leaning more toward green than blue. Your pulse is racing, and the way you keep shifting your weight tells me that if I were to strip these pants off you right now, I’d find you more than ready for me.”