Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 90503 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90503 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
“Who’s Maren?” she asked, looking at the letters I’d stenciled on my inner left forearm.
“A girl.”
She rolled her eyes. “For fuck’s sake, Dallas.”
“Just do it, okay?”
“Why? You’ve never talked about this person before, and now you want me to put her name on your skin? Have I not taught you anything?”
“Look, it’s not like that. She’s not my girlfriend.”
“What is she then? You don’t have a sister, and I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t tattoo your mother’s name on your body. So what gives?”
“She’s someone from my past.”
Beatriz arched one brow. “I’m listening.”
I went through the story, grateful it was early enough that only the two of us were in the shop. I’d called her and asked her to come in before we opened. She heard me out without interrupting, keeping her face impassive and her arms folded over her chest, even when I admitted the truth about the tumor in my brain. “Yesterday, I flew back here. That’s it.”
She was wide-eyed. “Wow. You really fucked that up.”
“Thanks for your sympathy,” I snarled.
“Oh, I have sympathy about the brain tumor. That is a shitty fucking piece of rotten luck, and I hate that you’re going through it. My brother had a tumor removed from his pituitary. The doctor got it all, and it turned out to be benign, but it was really hard on the entire family.” Her eyes misted over—something I’d never seen before. “I am sorry, Dallas.”
“I’m sorry about your brother.”
“Thanks. He’s fine now, by the way. Married with a kid and another on the way.”
“Good.”
“You’re going to be fine too, you know.”
“Bea. Can you just put her name on my arm please?”
“Not until you agree to have the surgery.”
I banged my fist on her table. “Fucking hell! Is it too much to ask that I be allowed to make my own decision?”
She thought for a second. “Yes. Because you’re not thinking clearly. You’ve got all this”—she moved her hands around in front of my face—“baggage that’s weighing you down, influencing your decision. Your aura is totally clogged with it. You need to let it go.”
I clenched my jaw and took a breath for patience. “I’m working on it.”
She tilted her head. “Are you? Or are you using this whole refusal to have the surgery thing to get back at your family? Maybe even to punish yourself for hurting Maren?”
“Jesus, Bea. All I wanted was some ink. Not a therapy session.”
She smiled. “Lucky you, it comes free with a tattoo today.”
“Does that mean you’re going to do it?”
“I’m deciding.” She leaned her elbows on the table. “What is getting this tattoo going to do? If she won’t see it, it won’t help you get her back.”
“It’s not for her,” I said quietly. “It’s for me. I want her with me, Bea. I’ll always want her with me.”
She sighed, her eyes tearing up again. “You’re starting to get to me, Dallas.”
“Good.”
Pulling on her disposable gloves, she shook her head. “I’m only doing this because I believe in my heart that you do love her, and that someday you’re going to take your head out of your ass so you can be with her.”
I didn’t say anything while she worked, and I welcomed the sting of the needle. It was a fraction of the pain I would have endured for her, and it made me feel like I was doing something about my feelings. As I watched Beatriz’s hands, I thought about Dr. Acharya’s, how capable they’d looked. I thought about how Finn had said the surgery could be done in ten days. I thought about the abrupt way I’d left my brother’s house, angry and resentful, when I knew he was only trying to help.
And I thought about what it would be like if the tables were turned, and it was Finn with the tumor—or God forbid, one of the kids. Or Maren. I’d want them to have the surgery, too. I’d fight them if they argued. I’d tell them it was worth the risks.
When it was done, Beatriz covered it with a bandage and tried to send me home. “You look like shit. Have you even slept since you left here?”
“Very little in the last few days,” I admitted.
“Go home and sleep. And don’t come back here until you’ve scheduled that surgery. I mean it. I will fire your ass if you don’t.”
I gave her a tight-lipped smile.
She gave me a hug and sighed. “Maybe you should come back later so I can cleanse your aura. It’s all kinds of fucked up.”
That reminded me of something. “Maren cleared my chakras while I was in Detroit.”
“She did?” Beatriz looked surprised. “How was it?”
“It was … mind-blowing.”
She rolled her eyes. “Something tells me it devolved into another activity entirely.”
I paused. “Yeah. It did.”
She patted me on the shoulder. “It happens. I wish I could meet this girl. She sounds amazing.”