Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 145231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
They’re not soft and they’re not a relief.
I’m bawling straight ugly tears with bone-shaking sobs. Even my legs quiver with the force of my crying.
“Salem.” Patton pulls me closer, cradling me in his lap.
I’m small enough to rest against his chest, which feels like the entire world right now, this haven of him I never want to leave.
“Salem,” he whispers again. My name has never sounded more intense on his lips. “It’s okay. We’ll be okay. I’m here.”
I turn my face into his bare chest.
He smells like warmth and safety, like home, even though I’ve only been with him like this for a matter of days.
“You’re not alone anymore. I promise,” he tells me, rocking me back and forth. His hand sweeps down my hair, smoothing it against my neck.
“I… I never thought this would happen.” I hiccup embarrassingly loudly. God, I don’t know where the tears keep coming from—no human being should cry this much.
But I’m not scared and ruined anymore.
I’m happy. This is far more than I could’ve ever hoped for.
Or maybe it’s just sheer giddy relief. The sense that finally all this single mom responsibility isn’t a lonely crushing weight piled on my shoulders that just keeps grinding me into the dirt year after year.
Arlo never had the life I wanted for him, there’s no hiding that.
But now, if Patton steps up, my son might finally have dreams.
He could have a life he truly deserves.
And me, well… is it too much to think maybe I can have a fair shot at a fairy-tale?
It’s almost too much, like you’re holding a winning lottery ticket in your trembling little fingers.
“Talk to me,” Patton urges. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I press the heels of my hands into my eyes until red streaks bloom against my eyelids. Then I shift, resting my head against his shoulder, my legs hooked over his knee.
Lying here like this, we feel like one person.
“It doesn’t seem real,” I whisper. “My parents left town when Arlo was only three months old. They gave me one more chance to give him up and join them. I told them to go to hell.”
Patton’s arms tighten around me.
“And I guess when you have to do something like that and the reality hits, it becomes all you know, right? Survival. So I learned to look after Arlo fast. I had to learn how to be a mother. And all the time, I watched as the world around me moved on. I was stuck with the label.”
“Single mom?”
I sighed. “I told myself I was glad. I laughed about it some days. Better than having a dad who’s only going to break Arlo’s poor heart, right?”
Patton doesn’t say anything, and I have to ask, even though I know it’ll be a mistake.
“If… if you’d known it at the time, would you have really stuck around?”
Again, the only sound is his steady breathing, his chest rising and falling as he considers the question. His arms tighten around me.
“Honestly, I don’t fucking know,” he says eventually. “Back then, I wasn’t the same person I am today. I’d like to think it would’ve shaken me awake.”
“You were more fun, you mean?” I tease.
“A lot more fun. Or an irresponsible fuckwit punk, as Archer liked to say.”
I laugh shakily through the tears.
It’s almost a relief, knowing I did the right thing, even inadvertently, by not knowing who he was then and trying to track him down.
“I’m damn glad you told me tonight, though,” he murmurs, his mouth grazing my ear. “Just like I’m glad you want me in your life, and Arlo’s.”
Yeah.
This weekend has taught me I don’t know how not to want this man with every fiber of my being.
“I’m just amazed you want to be part of it. It’s like being invited to swim around in a swamp.”
“I’m addicted.” It’s a confession and seduction all at once. The only thing I can focus on is the way his breath feels so good against the shell of my ear. “I’m addicted to waking up beside you. I’m addicted to this.”
This time, our kiss feels like coming home.
My feelings are too tangled to sort out and too overwhelming to understand. There’s just this pulsing urge under my skin that speaks louder than any words.
I want him.
I need him.
I crave him, all mixed with the blinding knowledge that he’s the father of my child.
He wants to be Arlo’s father.
All those bittersweet moments, all the times when I thought we’d be a party of two forever—are those days really done?
“You’re crying again.” Patton breaks away and wipes my cheeks.
“I know, I know. Sorry.” I scrub my face, still half laughing, half crying. “I am happy, I promise, despite all the evidence to the contrary.”
“You haven’t told me to fuck off or where to mail the child support check, so I believe you,” he says with a wry smile. “Despite the evidence to the contrary.”