Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 145231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
“I don’t believe it was personal,” he says. “You were just there. She’s an opportunist, using Arlo to make her escape the same way she used fifty years of friendship with Mom to fuck us over.”
“Does that make it any better?” My mouth twists bitterly.
He looks at me slowly and nods.
“No,” he admits. “But it proves it’s not about you.”
I accept the meal he’s made for me in a bowl, grateful for the thick dusting of parmesan on top. It’s simple, just jarred sauce and a few spices, but right now I’m hungry for anything.
I still have to make myself take small bites, wishing I could digest the latest news as easily as the food.
Arlo nearly died.
If Patton’s right, Evelyn Hibbing poisoned him. Apparently for no reason besides the fact he was there and she needed a diversion.
And I was too oblivious to notice.
“Eat,” he commands, sitting on the sofa with me after he grabs his own bowl.
We eat together in my tiny apartment where Arlo should be, forcing down a meal neither of us really wants.
Once I’ve eaten it, though, I start feeling better. It’s amazing what stable blood sugar can do for your energy.
“She hasn’t called,” I say, checking my phone for the fiftieth time since we left the hospital.
“That means there’s nothing new.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I rest the cold screen against my forehead. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Patton.”
He touches my arm. Featherlight, almost like he’s afraid to commit to touching me fully, worried it’ll break me.
“You’re going to rest. Then you’re going back to that hospital to be there when Arlo wakes up. The first thing he’ll want to see is his mama.”
Tears nip my eyes.
“And you?” I let my lips part with my next breath.
“Me, I’m going to figure this shit out before it drives me crazy. Exactly what happened, blow by blow, every scrap of evidence I can get.” He folds his arms, but then he forces a smile for my benefit. “Maybe someday, we’ll laugh this off like Mom does after I nearly drowned that summer.”
I can’t do this. Mentioning his mother brings back all the memories of being in her house. Being welcomed into his family like I deserve to be a part of them.
Honestly, I don’t even deserve this rock of a man sitting here who made me food, much less the people he loves.
I don’t deserve him.
All my previous resentment dissolves into a hollow ache in my chest that promises to drown me in numbness if I just push hard enough.
“I’m going to tell Arlo you’re his dad. You’ll always be in his life,” I blurt out. “Whatever happens. I wanted to tell you that earlier, before everything blew up with him getting sick.”
Patton frowns, switching his attention from his empty bowl to my face. “What do you mean whatever happens? What’s about to happen, Salem?”
I look down.
I never meant to do this, but the words are boiling up, scalding my throat. I sigh.
“I know you don’t believe me when I say I’m bad luck. But look at us. Look at this. Look where I live. None of this would’ve happened if you’d just stayed away from me.”
“Don’t start that shit again.”
“I’m no good for you—no good for your family.”
“And you think that’s your decision?” he asks coldly.
“Isn’t it?” I fire back. “Your family is super kind, Patton. I… I’ve never had that. Probably for a reason.”
“Bull. Shit,” he spits both syllables. “You don’t get to make that call.”
“But it’s my choice. If I think it’s better we go our separate ways, well…” It’s so hard to swallow around the sadness lodged in my throat.
“Like hell.” He glares at me, burning away the warmth that usually sparks in his eyes when he looks at me. “Where the fuck are you right now, Salem Hopper? Where is this coming from? You can’t let one brutal mishap blow everything apart.”
“I’m thinking about the boating thing in the Ozarks,” I say. “I’d like to start over if… if Arlo seems well enough, that is.”
Patton freezes. Hurt sweeps across his face, wilting the anger so fast I almost miss it.
Big mistake.
I shouldn’t have spilled my guts like this. Not in the middle of an argument while my son is sick, especially when I’m not really sure about anything.
But my brain and my heart are scrambled eggs.
“This isn’t really about Arlo, is it?” His voice stabs me with an accusation I can’t deny.
I close my eyes.
“Is it, Salem?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “You’re just—look who you are, Patton. And I’m me.”
“For fuck’s sake.” He pushes up from the sofa, daggers in his eyes.
And I can’t be mad when I pushed him to this.
“Wait.” I reach for his arm, jumping up to follow him to the door. “Patton, wait.”
“For what? For you to realize I love you?”