Once Upon a Grump Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Contemporary, Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 91480 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
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I sat next to Max. Christian sat to my left on the couch once we’d brought all the snacks to the coffee table. Termite was standing up and giving them all an interested sniff. Once she finished her investigation, she got up on the couch and curled in Max’s lap.

Max looked over to us. “It’s really weird that you two are dating. No offense, but I kind of thought you guys hated each other?”

“Let’s just start the movie,” Christian said.

“Now, honeyboo,” I said, giving his face a little brush with my thumb. I grinned at the way he stiffened. It was way too easy and way too fun to make him uncomfortable like this. “I know you’re excited to start Twilight, but this is probably weird for Max. We should talk about it if she wants to.”

Max looked somewhere between amused and disgusted at my little display. “So you guys… like each other now?”

“Yes,” Christian said in a tone so flat I thought it might’ve been pulled from a dimension where romance didn’t even exist.

Just because Christian roused my inner-brat, I decided to embarrass him in front of his niece by snuggling up on his arm and resting my head in the crook of his neck. “I’m not sure ‘like’ is a strong enough word.” I’d planned the little maneuver as a tease, but his thick muscular arm felt so good under my hands. And God, he smelled amazing. I took a deep breath through my nose, drinking in the scent I couldn’t quite describe. It just made me think of clean, modern spaces, money, with a strong undertone of masculinity.

“You two moved fast,” Max noted.

“We should start the movie,” Christian said.

My eyes drifted to his lap, where I noticed his impressive erection struggling to free itself. I did feel a little guilty. My intention hadn’t been to invite him here with his niece and play cocktease all night. But apparently it wasn’t taking much to wake the beast between his legs, so I decided I wasn’t entirely at fault here.

“Okay,” Max said, turning to face Christian. “Rule number one while we watch this is you’re not allowed to laugh at anything. You can only laugh if I laugh first. Understand?”

He frowned. “Why?”

“Because this movie is my spirit animal. If you make fun of it, I’ll have no choice but to poison your coffee or suffocate you in your sleep. And I’d rather not have to do that. So do we have an understanding?”

Christian raised his palms. “Yeah, whatever. Why are you so worried I’m going to laugh?”

A little while later, I stole a look at Christian while Edward was making faces as he sat beside Bella and trying to resist her smell. Christian’s mouth was twitching at the corners. He brought his hand to his face when he saw me looking, trying and failing to cover the growing smile.

Max noticed too, leaning out and jabbing a finger at him. “Don’t you dare, Uncle Stones.”

With heroic effort, he managed to straighten his features out. “Allergies,” he said.

Max glared, then slowly leaned back against the couch.

I gave him a squeeze on the arm, which I hadn’t let go since my “tease” before we started the movie. It felt so good to snuggle up against him. Having Max sitting beside us was giving me some heavy and very dangerous tastes of what it’d be like to be part of a family with Christian, too. He’d be the grouchy dad. I’d be the cool, pretty mom with a great fashion sense, amazing sense of humor, and unparalleled ability to solve any familial problems. Max could be the sassy teen who had a comeback for everything, which only made it more special when she’d inevitably come to me with her problems.

I smiled to myself. The silly little thought made warm, gooey feelings flow through every part of me.

But then I remembered how it had gone the last time I started to daydream about a happily ever after with a guy. I’d gotten engaged, discarded my own career ambitions, and done everything I could to convince myself I was happy. Once those gooey feelings faded, all I had was the knowledge that I’d invested way too much to ever back out. My whole life and identity had become wrapped up in him. What would I be if we weren’t an item anymore?

And now here I was falling down the same slippery slope again. Less than an hour into my first “date” with Christian Stone and I was imagining marital bliss.

With effort, I peeled my arms away from him and sat straight back against the couch. Maybe I was just suffering some sort of effects from being too close to him. It was clouding my brain.

But Christian looked over to me when I pulled away. He lifted his arm and draped it over both me and Max, tugging us in with a playful yank that sent me and Max toppling sideways toward him. My head was on his chest and Max was squished to my side. We both laughed, and I was surprised when even Max just tucked her legs up under her and settled into leaning into my side.


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