Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 119005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Mum leaned forward. “Last weekend you were so sure you loved him.”
“I do.” Emotion squeezed my throat, and I had to take a second before I forced out, “Mum … since I was old enough to want romance, I’ve been searching for what you and Dad have. Something epic.”
She leaned over to squeeze my arm. “Baby …”
“You know what you two have is special.”
“I do.” Mum nodded. “It’s what’s kept us together through everything.”
“But it’s rare.”
“I know that too.”
“I think deep down, I believed I would never find it. That maybe proclaiming I was searching for that epic big love was an excuse to never let anyone close. Because surely our family had all the luck we were going to get in that department.”
“And yet …?”
“I’m so in love with him, Mum.” Tears burned my eyes. “And I know he loves me, but I don’t know if it’s enough. Every time he puts that hand up, keeps me at bay, my thoughts spiral. And I’m so scared he’ll end it and I won’t recover.”
Mum was quiet for a few seconds as she processed this. Then she offered quietly, “I feel like I know Callan. We haven’t met, but I have a sense of what’s shaped him because of our shared experiences.”
I nodded.
“Baby, I can’t even begin to tell you what I put your father through when we were first together. A lesser man, or maybe just a smarter man”—she smirked—“would have walked away. But he loved me so much, and I think he didn’t give up on me not just for himself, but for me too. Because he knew I needed someone to push me into living again. He didn’t want me to end up alone and afraid of life.”
My love for my dad only grew knowing how much he adored Mum. “So you’re saying, I need to be stronger. I need to hang in there.”
“It’s not about being stronger. And I would never tell you to ignore the boundaries you need in place for your own mental health. But I will say that if you really believe he loves you like you love him, the one thing that will get through to him is time. Over time, he’ll realize you’re not going anywhere. It’s what I needed. Your dad’s persistence assured me that he wasn’t going anywhere. Not if he could help it.”
I wanted to give that to Callan.
And I didn’t want my own anxiety to fuck things up between us.
I hadn’t let it win in the past, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let it win now. “Thanks, Mum.”
“Anytime.”
“I mean it. I know you’ve been kicking your own butt these last few days … but I need you to know I think I have the best mum on the planet. The best dad too. You’ve taught me not to settle for less than what I want in every aspect of my life. More than that, you’ve taught me that what we want doesn’t get handed to us … we have to work for it. I’m going to work for it, Mum. For him.”
Mum offered me an affectionate smile. “Proud of you, kid.”
“Proud of you.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
CALLAN
“Ithink you’re more nervous than I am.” I tugged on Beth’s hand as we approached her family’s house on Dublin Street.
Beth huffed. “I’m not. I … my family can be a lot, and I don’t know who’s all going to be here today. Don’t … don’t let them chase you off, okay?”
Guilt shifted through me. I hadn’t exactly been sunshine and roses to be around the last few days, and I hated the insecurity in my girlfriend’s voice. Gavin had really fucked with my head, on top of Braden’s warning to keep him out of Beth’s life. I despised that I was associated with him. That there was even a possibility of him contaminating Beth’s life.
“Not going to happen,” I promised her.
“I feel good about it. I haven’t had a Sunday roast in ages,” Baird announced as he strolled at our side up the hill.
Beth snorted. “You can be relaxed all you want. You’re the handsome goalie come to dinner. Our relationship”—she gestured to me—“however, will be under inspection by all.”
“You think I’m handsome.” He winked at her.
“Cool it,” I warned.
“So possessive.” Baird clasped a hand to his chest, dramatically. “I’m affronted you’d even think I’d do more than casually flirt with Beth.”
“How about not flirting with my girlfriend at all?”
My mate considered that. “Sorry. She’s gorgeous. It’s in my nature to flirt with attractive women.”
“Aye? It’s in my nature to smack you in retaliation. See how handsome you are with your right eye swollen fucking shut.”
“Is it just me, or does he mean that?” Baird whispered in mock fear.
“I’m going to kill him before we even get inside,” I muttered.
Beth laughed under her breath as we walked up the steps to the front door.