Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81009 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81009 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
For as much as Eamon had loved me…his mother did not. To begin with, I wasn’t Irish or Catholic. Then, to make matters worse, in her eyes, I was Southern. Keira had believed that Eamon would marry a Boston socialite. Not some orphan girl who was at Rhode Island School of Design on a full scholarship and had come from the small town of McIntosh, Florida. I wasn’t truly an orphan, but they didn’t know that. Not even Eamon had known the truth.
I’d held many secrets from him. But he’d always known that there was someone else. That I’d been broken when he found me.
A whimper came from my left, and I glanced over to see Keira clinging to Eamon’s father, Cormac. My chest ached every time I looked at the man. All I could think was that if Eamon had been given the chance to reach his sixties, he’d have been a replica of his father…but he’d never see past thirty-nine. The sorrow was a part of me, I’d decided.
My life wasn’t meant to be a fairy tale. There was no happy ending. I’d been dealt one bad hand after another.
People began to slowly leave as others came to speak to the Murphys and me to share their condolences. Every second that ticked by, I played a part. Being the perfect daughter-in-law and responding the way that Keira would want me to. When, in reality, I wanted to tell them all to meet me at the nearest pub. Just like in life, I’d let Eamon down. By not loving him as much as he loved me. And now, by allowing his mother to give him the funeral she wanted. Not the one he had asked for.
I’m sorry I failed you. I did love you, and I will forever mourn that we didn’t grow old together, holding hands on the front porch swing, like you imagined. You’d found me when my heart was just a pile of fragmented pieces and picked up what was left, one by one. It wasn’t your fault that I was damaged, and you loved me anyway.
You were my best friend, Eamon Murphy. You loved me when I felt unlovable. How am I supposed to navigate this life without you?
2
Salem
One Year Later
I know this isn’t an actual pub by your standards, but they have Guinness. That is all that matters, right?
Twisting the wedding ring set on my finger, I grinned, thinking about the face Eamon would make if he were here. I often talked to him in my head and then imagined his responses. It helped with the loneliness. Eamon would have called this a yuppie bar, then told me to take off the wedding rings, that I was using them as a crutch.
He would have been right. After tonight, I was taking them off and tucking both back into the velvet box the engagement ring had come in. But since I was at a bar in a strange city, I was keeping them on for now.
Paradise Brew, the name on the outside of the building, had caught my attention on my way to the hotel this afternoon. It had a funky vibe to it. Seeing as I had arrived in town hours ago for a job interview tomorrow and I knew little of the city, I’d wanted to find a bar that was close to my hotel and didn’t look sketchy. The bar scene really wasn’t my thing, but today, I had to drink a Guinness. Paradise Brew had seemed like a safe place to do that.
The live band that was performing tonight sounded like a possible distraction for me, but I knew I wouldn’t stay long enough for them to take the stage. I was alone in a new city. That would be stupid. Sure, I’d grown up in Florida, but it had been in a small town north of here. Miami was not small or quaint. It would have been intimidating to the girl who had left Florida eighteen years ago. The thirty-seven-year-old me had lived in Savannah, Rhode Island, and then eventually Boston where I’d stayed the past sixteen years. I could handle it. And I was aware of the dangers of being out alone at night.
I’d been thankful for the job interview coming when it did. This wasn’t a day I wanted to sit inside the house that had been our home…remembering. The tears had dried up, and I was finding my way in the world again without having a partner. I missed Eamon every day, and that would never go away, but I was ready to live a life again. Instead of just going through the motions.
Having a pint of Guinness was more than I could handle. I’d never get it choked down. Instead, I’d ordered a respectable glass of the black stuff, and I did a silent sláinte to Eamon.